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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • L Offline
    L Offline
    Larry
    wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:02 last edited by
    #642

    So...

    My doctor told me I could touch myself any time I wanted to.

    Well.... his exact words were "you could have a stroke at any time" but hey.....

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      Larry
      wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:07 last edited by
      #643

      So....

      The worst thing to feel during a prostate exam is two hands on your shoulders....

      1 Reply Last reply
      • L Offline
        L Offline
        Larry
        wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:10 last edited by
        #644

        So...

        "IT'S A BOY!! IT'S A BOY!!" I yelled, as i made a mental note to never visit Thailand again...

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Offline
          J Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 8 May 2022, 02:00 last edited by
          #645

          Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.

          Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Offline
            J Offline
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 8 May 2022, 13:37 last edited by
            #646

            My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.

            I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

            Only non-witches get due process.

            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
            G 1 Reply Last reply 9 May 2022, 22:16
            • J Offline
              J Offline
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 9 May 2022, 22:12 last edited by
              #647

              The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.

              It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              1 Reply Last reply
              • J jon-nyc
                8 May 2022, 13:37

                My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.

                I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

                G Offline
                G Offline
                George K
                wrote on 9 May 2022, 22:16 last edited by
                #648

                @jon-nyc said in So....:

                My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.

                I’ve had a Canon printer for years.

                Stealing....

                The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.

                It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.

                Yeah, that one too.

                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Offline
                  J Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 13 May 2022, 09:56 last edited by
                  #649

                  I just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.

                  Only non-witches get due process.

                  • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • J Offline
                    J Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 14 May 2022, 21:15 last edited by
                    #650

                    Anybody can masturbate under a sheet.

                    But it takes real skill to do it without the hairdresser noticing.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • L Offline
                      L Offline
                      Larry
                      wrote on 15 May 2022, 15:22 last edited by
                      #651

                      So....

                      Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

                      So they can see their Air Force....

                      I 1 Reply Last reply 16 May 2022, 03:32
                      • L Larry
                        15 May 2022, 15:22

                        So....

                        Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

                        So they can see their Air Force....

                        I Offline
                        I Offline
                        Ivorythumper
                        wrote on 16 May 2022, 03:32 last edited by
                        #652

                        @Larry said in So....:

                        So....

                        Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...

                        So they can see their Air Force Navy....

                        FIFYNNTTM

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • G Offline
                          G Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on 21 May 2022, 13:42 last edited by
                          #653

                          If Elon Musk came out as gay, would you oppose Musk man dates?

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • J Offline
                            J Offline
                            jon-nyc
                            wrote on 24 May 2022, 17:00 last edited by
                            #654

                            I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.

                            In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.

                            Only non-witches get due process.

                            • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Offline
                              J Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 24 May 2022, 22:56 last edited by
                              #655

                              I met my girlfriend on tinder.

                              Man that was awkward.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • L Offline
                                L Offline
                                LuFins Dad
                                wrote on 24 May 2022, 23:21 last edited by
                                #656

                                I’ve started seeing a girl… Fortunately, she hasn’t seen me, yet.

                                The Brad

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on 26 May 2022, 12:36 last edited by
                                  #657

                                  Q. Why is the sand wet?
                                  A. Because the sea weed.

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  I 1 Reply Last reply 26 May 2022, 19:44
                                  • C Offline
                                    C Offline
                                    Catseye3
                                    wrote on 26 May 2022, 13:08 last edited by
                                    #658

                                    "How am I supposed to trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?"

                                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • L Offline
                                      L Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on 26 May 2022, 14:58 last edited by
                                      #659

                                      So....

                                      The sexual position known as 69 will henceforth be known as 96 as the cost of eating out has gone up...

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • C Catseye3
                                        26 May 2022, 12:36

                                        Q. Why is the sand wet?
                                        A. Because the sea weed.

                                        I Offline
                                        I Offline
                                        Ivorythumper
                                        wrote on 26 May 2022, 19:44 last edited by
                                        #660

                                        @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                        Q. Why is the sand wet?
                                        A. Because the sea weed.

                                        HAHA!

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 29 May 2022, 21:30 last edited by
                                          #661

                                          The elderly wife in church turned to her husband and said, “I’ve just done a silent fart. What should I do?”

                                          He said, “Change the batteries in your hearing aid”.

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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                                          15 May 2022, 15:22


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