So....
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wrote on 6 May 2022, 22:24 last edited by
I asked my wife to polish my medieval battle uniform while I go to the pub.
She always said she wanted a night in, shining armour.
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:52 last edited by
So....
I've always wondered why mosquitos don't become lawyers.
They're already blood sucking parasites, all they need is a briefcase....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 18:55 last edited by
So..,,
A farmer"s wife left him after she caught him having sex with one of the horses..It was her worst fucking night mare....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:00 last edited by
So....
For years I was a circus performer. For my act, I would place a walnut on a table, then take out my Johnson, swing it at the walnut and crack it open.
Recently though I've switched to a coconut.
My eyesight isn't what it used to be....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:02 last edited by
So...
My doctor told me I could touch myself any time I wanted to.
Well.... his exact words were "you could have a stroke at any time" but hey.....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:07 last edited by
So....
The worst thing to feel during a prostate exam is two hands on your shoulders....
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wrote on 7 May 2022, 19:10 last edited by
So...
"IT'S A BOY!! IT'S A BOY!!" I yelled, as i made a mental note to never visit Thailand again...
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wrote on 8 May 2022, 02:00 last edited by
Her: My husband’s been having trouble falling asleep.
Dr: Have you tried telling him about your day?
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wrote on 8 May 2022, 13:37 last edited by
My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
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wrote on 9 May 2022, 22:12 last edited by
The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.
It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.
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My buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
wrote on 9 May 2022, 22:16 last edited byMy buddy was bragging that his 3D printer could print a gun. But I wasn’t impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
Stealing....
The longest drum solo in history lasted 10 hours and 43 minutes.
It was performed by the kid sitting behind me on Delta 237 from LA to Tokyo.
Yeah, that one too.
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wrote on 13 May 2022, 09:56 last edited by
I just got 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
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wrote on 14 May 2022, 21:15 last edited by
Anybody can masturbate under a sheet.
But it takes real skill to do it without the hairdresser noticing.
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wrote on 15 May 2022, 15:22 last edited by
So....
Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...
So they can see their Air Force....
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So....
Why does the Russian Navy have glass bottom boats?...
So they can see their Air Force....
wrote on 16 May 2022, 03:32 last edited by -
wrote on 21 May 2022, 13:42 last edited by
If Elon Musk came out as gay, would you oppose Musk man dates?
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wrote on 24 May 2022, 17:00 last edited by
I always close my eyes when I kiss a woman.
In my experience you get far less pepper spray in them that way.
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wrote on 24 May 2022, 22:56 last edited by
I met my girlfriend on tinder.
Man that was awkward.
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wrote on 24 May 2022, 23:21 last edited by
I’ve started seeing a girl… Fortunately, she hasn’t seen me, yet.
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wrote on 26 May 2022, 12:36 last edited by
Q. Why is the sand wet?
A. Because the sea weed.