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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • G Offline
    G Offline
    George K
    wrote on 4 Apr 2020, 23:36 last edited by
    #1

    A place for jokes and silliness.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • J Online
      J Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 01:49 last edited by
      #2

      I wanted to start a diet, but I feel like I have way too much on my plate right now.

      Only non-witches get due process.

      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
      1 Reply Last reply
      • O Offline
        O Offline
        Optimistic
        wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 02:20 last edited by
        #3

        What do you call a mean potato?

        A dictator.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • L Offline
          L Offline
          Larry
          wrote on 5 Apr 2020, 02:57 last edited by
          #4

          Teacher: "Leroy, please make a sentence using the word 'dictate ".

          Leroy: "I took Quahita on a date and afterwards I said 'Quahita, how my dictate?' "

          1 Reply Last reply
          • G Offline
            G Offline
            George K
            wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:08 last edited by
            #5

            So, if Hooters starts delivering food, will it have to change its name to Knockers?

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • I Offline
              I Offline
              Improviso
              wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:12 last edited by
              #6

              92681644_2577534305836522_1770070367595921408_n.jpg

              We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
              Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • I Offline
                I Offline
                Improviso
                wrote on 8 Apr 2020, 12:20 last edited by
                #7

                92583220_3341627545870131_1624729722271301632_n.jpg

                We have the freedom to choose our actions, but we do not get to choose our consequences.
                Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run, there's still time to change the road you're on.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • X Offline
                  X Offline
                  xenon
                  wrote on 16 Apr 2020, 21:07 last edited by xenon
                  #8

                  Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...

                  ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.

                  G B 2 Replies Last reply 16 Apr 2020, 21:21
                  • X xenon
                    16 Apr 2020, 21:07

                    Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...

                    ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.

                    G Offline
                    G Offline
                    George K
                    wrote on 16 Apr 2020, 21:21 last edited by
                    #9

                    @xenon said in So....:

                    Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...

                    ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.

                    😆

                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • X xenon
                      16 Apr 2020, 21:07

                      Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...

                      ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.

                      B Offline
                      B Offline
                      brenda
                      wrote on 16 Apr 2020, 23:36 last edited by
                      #10

                      @xenon said in So....:

                      Steve Jobs would have made a better President than Trump...

                      ...but that's comparing apples to oranges.

                      That's so bad it's good! LOL

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • J Online
                        J Online
                        jon-nyc
                        wrote on 21 Apr 2020, 21:26 last edited by
                        #11

                        I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.

                        Only non-witches get due process.

                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                        markM 1 Reply Last reply 21 Apr 2020, 21:33
                        • J jon-nyc
                          21 Apr 2020, 21:26

                          I just heard something suspicious outside and caught some asshole siphoning gas into my car.

                          markM Offline
                          markM Offline
                          mark
                          wrote on 21 Apr 2020, 21:33 last edited by
                          #12

                          @jon-nyc lol

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • L Offline
                            L Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 00:43 last edited by
                            #13

                            att00012.jpg

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • L Offline
                              L Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:18 last edited by
                              #14

                              So... I feel like I'm 16 again...

                              Gas is cheap..
                              I can't get into a bar or drink..
                              And I'm grounded...

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • L Offline
                                L Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:27 last edited by
                                #15

                                So.. the Catholic church just released a new aftershave...

                                Eau My God.....

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • L Offline
                                  L Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:28 last edited by
                                  #16

                                  So.. my grandfather was in the army until he ate all the rations...

                                  He was shot for desserting ...

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • L Offline
                                    L Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on 28 Apr 2020, 14:31 last edited by
                                    #17

                                    Did you know that when you say the word "poop" your mouth moves the same way your butthole moves?

                                    The same goes for "explosive diahrrea"....

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • J Online
                                      J Online
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 9 May 2020, 14:45 last edited by
                                      #18

                                      If after the lockdown you were given 2 options:

                                      Fly with your wife to a dream destination or have a BBQ with the guys, what would you choose?

                                      1. Rare,
                                      2. Medium rare or
                                      3. Medium?

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • L Offline
                                        L Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:20 last edited by
                                        #19

                                        So.. in this difficult time we should all endeavor to lend a helping hand to others when we can. Just today I helped my neighbor bury a large rug in the woods behind her house.

                                        Her husband would have helped, but he's out of town.....

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • L Offline
                                          L Offline
                                          Larry
                                          wrote on 12 May 2020, 01:22 last edited by
                                          #20

                                          My wife said she's leaving me because she's sick and tired of my "weird sexual fetishes"..

                                          So I said "oh yeah? Well just slam the door on my pecker when you leave!!"

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