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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • J jon-nyc
    9 May 2021, 22:59

    When I was young, I was poor.

    But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

    G Offline
    G Offline
    George K
    wrote on 9 May 2021, 23:28 last edited by
    #279

    @jon-nyc stealing....

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • G Offline
      G Offline
      George K
      wrote on 13 Jun 2021, 11:33 last edited by
      #280

      I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, one thing led to another and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?

      'What's that? I asked.

      'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

      As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

      We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in.

      She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Offline
        J Offline
        Jolly
        wrote on 13 Jun 2021, 12:23 last edited by
        #281

        January 21, 2021.

        Last Larry post in this thread.

        “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

        Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

        1 Reply Last reply
        • J Online
          J Online
          jon-nyc
          wrote on 20 Jun 2021, 15:53 last edited by
          #282

          Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

          Only non-witches get due process.

          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
          C 1 Reply Last reply 20 Jun 2021, 15:54
          • J jon-nyc
            20 Jun 2021, 15:53

            Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

            C Offline
            C Offline
            Catseye3
            wrote on 20 Jun 2021, 15:54 last edited by
            #283

            @jon-nyc More than ramen? Are you insane?

            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

            1 Reply Last reply
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 20 Jun 2021, 15:55 last edited by
              #284

              Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

              Only non-witches get due process.

              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
              A 1 Reply Last reply 23 Jun 2021, 22:34
              • X Offline
                X Offline
                xenon
                wrote on 23 Jun 2021, 20:58 last edited by
                #285

                I opened up a bar for people with erectile dysfunction…

                It was a flop…. nobody came.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J jon-nyc
                  20 Jun 2021, 15:55

                  Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                  A Offline
                  A Offline
                  Aqua Letifer
                  wrote on 23 Jun 2021, 22:34 last edited by
                  #286

                  @jon-nyc said in So....:

                  Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                  That joke is peak Dad.

                  Please love yourself.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • C Offline
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                    Catseye3
                    wrote on 24 Jun 2021, 17:09 last edited by
                    #287

                    "I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,”Forget everything you know about slipcovers.” So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were." -- Mitch Hedberg

                    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • G Offline
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                      George K
                      wrote on 27 Jun 2021, 11:34 last edited by
                      #288

                      Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says. “We only have one rule here in heaven, don’t step on the ducks!”

                      So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

                      Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

                      The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

                      The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – Very tall, long eyelashes. and muscular.

                      St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

                      The happy woman says. “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

                      The guy says. “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • G Offline
                        G Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 27 Jun 2021, 22:47 last edited by
                        #289

                        A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.

                        The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."

                        The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"

                        The psychic says, "In biology class."

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • LarryL Offline
                          LarryL Offline
                          Larry
                          wrote on 28 Jun 2021, 00:16 last edited by
                          #290

                          A guy goes into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.

                          The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                          The frog said "it started out as a wart on my ass."

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on 28 Jun 2021, 00:17 last edited by
                            #291

                            A black guy goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

                            The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                            The parrot said... "Africa."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • J Online
                              J Online
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 4 Jul 2021, 16:42 last edited by
                              #292

                              Not to get too technical or anything, but according to chemistry alcohol is in fact a solution.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on 4 Jul 2021, 17:58 last edited by
                                #293

                                So.... remember Bruce Lee?
                                How about his much faster, older brother Sudden?......

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on 4 Jul 2021, 18:04 last edited by
                                  #294

                                  So as Thomas Jefferson famously said on July 3rd, 1776......

                                  "Shit! That's due tomorrow??"....

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LarryL Offline
                                    LarryL Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on 4 Jul 2021, 18:05 last edited by
                                    #295

                                    PSA for today:

                                    Guys with an eye patch and three fingers sell the best fireworks....

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on 4 Jul 2021, 18:14 last edited by
                                      #296

                                      So.. I bought a wig today for a dollar.

                                      It was a small price toupee........

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • J Online
                                        J Online
                                        jon-nyc
                                        wrote on 7 Jul 2021, 11:44 last edited by
                                        #297

                                        So it turns out JPEG is not the Jewish dating app I thought it was.

                                        Only non-witches get due process.

                                        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • G Offline
                                          G Offline
                                          George K
                                          wrote on 7 Jul 2021, 12:29 last edited by
                                          #298

                                          My doctor told me to stop masturbating.

                                          I asked for how long.

                                          "At least until I'm done with your exam."

                                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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