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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nycJ Online
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #278

    When I was young, I was poor.

    But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

    You were warned.

    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

      When I was young, I was poor.

      But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

      George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #279

      @jon-nyc stealing....

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

      1 Reply Last reply
      • George KG Offline
        George KG Offline
        George K
        wrote on last edited by
        #280

        I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, one thing led to another and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?

        'What's that? I asked.

        'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

        As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

        We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in.

        She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        1 Reply Last reply
        • JollyJ Offline
          JollyJ Offline
          Jolly
          wrote on last edited by
          #281

          January 21, 2021.

          Last Larry post in this thread.

          “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

          Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

          1 Reply Last reply
          • jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nycJ Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on last edited by
            #282

            Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

            You were warned.

            Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

              Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on last edited by
              #283

              @jon-nyc More than ramen? Are you insane?

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nycJ Online
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #284

                Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                You were warned.

                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                • X Online
                  X Online
                  xenon
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #285

                  I opened up a bar for people with erectile dysfunction…

                  It was a flop…. nobody came.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                    Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                    Aqua LetiferA Offline
                    Aqua LetiferA Offline
                    Aqua Letifer
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #286

                    @jon-nyc said in So....:

                    Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                    That joke is peak Dad.

                    Please love yourself.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3C Offline
                      Catseye3
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #287

                      "I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,”Forget everything you know about slipcovers.” So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were." -- Mitch Hedberg

                      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #288

                        Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says. “We only have one rule here in heaven, don’t step on the ducks!”

                        So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

                        Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

                        The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

                        The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – Very tall, long eyelashes. and muscular.

                        St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

                        The happy woman says. “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

                        The guy says. “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #289

                          A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.

                          The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."

                          The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"

                          The psychic says, "In biology class."

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LarryL Offline
                            LarryL Offline
                            Larry
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #290

                            A guy goes into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.

                            The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                            The frog said "it started out as a wart on my ass."

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • LarryL Offline
                              LarryL Offline
                              Larry
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #291

                              A black guy goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

                              The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                              The parrot said... "Africa."

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nycJ Online
                                jon-nyc
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #292

                                Not to get too technical or anything, but according to chemistry alcohol is in fact a solution.

                                You were warned.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #293

                                  So.... remember Bruce Lee?
                                  How about his much faster, older brother Sudden?......

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • LarryL Offline
                                    LarryL Offline
                                    Larry
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #294

                                    So as Thomas Jefferson famously said on July 3rd, 1776......

                                    "Shit! That's due tomorrow??"....

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #295

                                      PSA for today:

                                      Guys with an eye patch and three fingers sell the best fireworks....

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • LarryL Offline
                                        LarryL Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #296

                                        So.. I bought a wig today for a dollar.

                                        It was a small price toupee........

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nycJ Online
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #297

                                          So it turns out JPEG is not the Jewish dating app I thought it was.

                                          You were warned.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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