So....
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When I was young, I was poor.
But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.
It’s always something.
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I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, one thing led to another and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?
'What's that? I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'
We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?
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Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.
It’s always something.
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Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.
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Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says. “We only have one rule here in heaven, don’t step on the ducks!”
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”
The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.
The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – Very tall, long eyelashes. and muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.
The happy woman says. “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”
The guy says. “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”
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Not to get too technical or anything, but according to chemistry alcohol is in fact a solution.
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So it turns out JPEG is not the Jewish dating app I thought it was.
