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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
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  • George KG Offline
    George KG Offline
    George K
    wrote on last edited by
    #276

    Two guys grow up together, but after college one moves to Georgia and the other to Texas. They agree to meet every ten years in Florida to play golf and catch up with each others stories.

    At age 32 they meet, finish their round of golf and head for lunch.

    "Where you wanna go?"

    "Hooters."

    "Why Hooters?"

    "They have those servers with the big boobs, the tight shorts and the gorgeous legs."

    "Perfect, you're on"

    At age 42, they meet and play golf again

    "Where you wanna go for lunch?"

    "Hooters."

    "Again? Why?"

    "They have cold beer, big screen TVs, and side action on the games."

    "Yeah, boy! Let's do it!"

    At age 52 they meet and play again. "So, where you wanna go for lunch?"

    "Hooters.

    "Why?"

    "The food is pretty good and there's plenty of parking."

    "OK."

    At age 62 they meet again.

    After a round of golf, one says, "Where you wanna go?"

    "Hooters."

    "Why?"

    "Wings are half price and the food isn't too spicy."

    "Good choice"

    At age 72 they meet again.

    Once again, after a round of golf, one says, "Where shall we go for lunch?"

    "Hooters."

    "Why?"

    "They have six handicapped parking spaces right by the door and they have senior discounts."

    "Great choice."

    At age 82 they meet and play again. "Where should we go for lunch?"

    "Hooters."

    "Why?"

    "Because we've never been there before."

    "OK, let's give it a try!"

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • markM Offline
      markM Offline
      mark
      wrote on last edited by
      #277

      When a group of tourists visited a crocodile farm, the owner of the place launched a bold proposal;

      • Whoever dares to jump, swim to the coast and survive, I'll give you $ 1 million.

      No one dared to move, suddenly, a man jumped into the water and desperately swam to the shore while being chased by all the crocodiles.

      With enormous luck he made it, then the owner announced;

      • We have a brave winner.

      After collecting his reward, the couple returned to the hotel, upon arrival, the manager told him; he was very brave to jump, then the man said;

      • I didn't jump, someone pushed me!

      His wife smiled...

      Moral: ′′Behind every successful man, there's a woman who pushes him"...

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nycJ Offline
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #278

        When I was young, I was poor.

        But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

        You were warned.

        George KG 1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

          When I was young, I was poor.

          But after years of hard work, I am no longer young.

          George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by
          #279

          @jon-nyc stealing....

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by
            #280

            I met an older woman at a bar last night. She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, one thing led to another and she asked if I'd ever had a Sportsman's Double?

            'What's that? I asked.

            'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.

            As my mind began to embrace the idea, and I wondered what her daughter might look like, I said, 'No, I haven't.'

            We drank a bit more, then she said with a wink, 'tonight's your lucky night'. We went back to her place. We walked in.

            She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs: 'Mom...you still awake?

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • JollyJ Offline
              JollyJ Offline
              Jolly
              wrote on last edited by
              #281

              January 21, 2021.

              Last Larry post in this thread.

              “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

              Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

              1 Reply Last reply
              • jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nycJ Offline
                jon-nyc
                wrote on last edited by
                #282

                Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

                You were warned.

                Catseye3C 1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                  Of all the inventions of the last 100 years, the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable.

                  Catseye3C Offline
                  Catseye3C Offline
                  Catseye3
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #283

                  @jon-nyc More than ramen? Are you insane?

                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #284

                    Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                    You were warned.

                    Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                    • X Online
                      X Online
                      xenon
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #285

                      I opened up a bar for people with erectile dysfunction…

                      It was a flop…. nobody came.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                        Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                        Aqua LetiferA Offline
                        Aqua Letifer
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #286

                        @jon-nyc said in So....:

                        Without a doubt, my favorite Robin Williams movie is Mrs. Fire.

                        That joke is peak Dad.

                        Please love yourself.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #287

                          "I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,”Forget everything you know about slipcovers.” So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were." -- Mitch Hedberg

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #288

                            Three women die together in an accident and go to Heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says. “We only have one rule here in heaven, don’t step on the ducks!”

                            So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

                            Well, along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says. “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!”

                            The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck, and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

                            The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps. She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – Very tall, long eyelashes. and muscular.

                            St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

                            The happy woman says. “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

                            The guy says. “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG Offline
                              George KG Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #289

                              A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.

                              The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."

                              The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"

                              The psychic says, "In biology class."

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • LarryL Offline
                                LarryL Offline
                                Larry
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #290

                                A guy goes into a bar with a frog on his shoulder.

                                The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                                The frog said "it started out as a wart on my ass."

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • LarryL Offline
                                  LarryL Offline
                                  Larry
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #291

                                  A black guy goes into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.

                                  The bartender said "hey, where'd you get that?"

                                  The parrot said... "Africa."

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nycJ Offline
                                    jon-nyc
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #292

                                    Not to get too technical or anything, but according to chemistry alcohol is in fact a solution.

                                    You were warned.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • LarryL Offline
                                      LarryL Offline
                                      Larry
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #293

                                      So.... remember Bruce Lee?
                                      How about his much faster, older brother Sudden?......

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • LarryL Offline
                                        LarryL Offline
                                        Larry
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #294

                                        So as Thomas Jefferson famously said on July 3rd, 1776......

                                        "Shit! That's due tomorrow??"....

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • LarryL Offline
                                          LarryL Offline
                                          Larry
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #295

                                          PSA for today:

                                          Guys with an eye patch and three fingers sell the best fireworks....

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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