What Makes Tim Urban Angry
-
What really makes you angry? – Ingrid M.
When I’m late and a person in front of me is going really slowly at the cashier
When I’m late in an Uber and the driver makes a wrong turn
When I’m late at the airport with no margin for error and TSA decides it’s the perfect time to search my bag and there are two other bags that need to be searched in front of mine and no one is searching any of the bags because the woman who searches bags is doing something else
When I go to a Broadway show and look at the little slip of paper in the Playbill and the main character is replaced by an understudy
When anyone needs me to do something that involves printing something
Bluetooth connectivity difficulties
When I get a new bottle of liquid soap and I can’t get the nozzle to pop up and instead it just spins around infuriatingly
Any other kind of packaging that’s hard to open
When my packages get stolen from my shit-ass building lobby
When I’m sleeping somewhere either with no A/C or bad A/C and it’s like 78º all night and I sleep 2 hours
When some gem of a photo op presents itself with my dog or something on the street and my phone camera freezes on the blurred screen
(Thinking about Jon with this one.) When I finally select the flight I want on Kayak and I’m relieved I got a good price and I go to buy it and it takes me to the airline site where I fill everything out and click “purchase” and it comes back with a message that says “the flight you’ve selected is not available.”
When people disagree with me about politics and think they’re right
When I bought a tin of fancy salt and the fucking lid was impossible to get off and I finally got it to snap off and the salt went everywhere
When I go to a site and select a menu item and the site finishes loading and the page jumps up just as I click and I select the wrong item and then I press back and select again and the same thing happens
Obscure name clues in crossword puzzles
When my opponent opens up a huge spot in Words With Friends and my letters are awful
When I’m at a breakfast restaurant and ask for Tabasco Sauce and the waiter remembers to bring it 0 out of 100 times
When I’m watching something riveting on an airplane TV and the captain makes a long, drawn-out announcement
When my tortoise shits on the floor while I’m not in the room and then tramps through it and gets shit on every square inch of the apartment floor and 3 inches up every wall
How long it takes an iPhone to turn back on when you plug it back in after it dies
When I’m watching a movie with someone and I’ve seen it and they haven’t and they talk or look at their phone during an important moment
Sandwiches or burgers with hard, thick bread
When I’m in the car with my sisters and they think it’s an okay thing to blast their inane songs
When an apartment building puts a sign up that says “Please keep noise down between 10pm and 7am” because no one cares about late-night people (early riser privilege!)
The 99-year-old technology at my mom’s house
Websites that won’t let you go back – you just keep hitting the “back” button and it keeps refreshing the current page
When I get delivery food that includes fries and instead of a little container of ketchup, they give me a bunch of tiny packets
When I ask someone for the address where I’m going and they tell me directions instead of just giving me the address to put in my phone
When I go on vacation with people who want to wake up early and fill the day with icky activities
Jeans with button flies
