Famous Philosophers' Pick-up Lines
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https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/famous-philosophers-pick-up-lines
Friedrich Nietzsche: “I didn’t know that angels could fly so low. Or that angels even existed anymore now that God is dead… amiright???”
René Descartes: “I would rearrange the stars for you, babe… And, technically-speaking, it is NOT IMPOSSIBLE for me to rearrange the stars, because everything that is external to me is subject to skepticism and, as such, the only thing I can truly be certain of is my own, rational existence.”
Immanuel Kant: “If loving you is wrong, babe… then I have a moral duty not to love you because loving you is an ethical decision that cannot be universalized.”
Ayn Rand: “Babe, I’m gonna give you a night you’ll never forget… But, in return, I expect you to give me something of equal value because altruism is both illogical AND the world’s greatest evil (and so is government regulation).”
Søren Kierkegaard: “What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this? And why did you choose here, specifically? Did the burden of choice fill you with dread? Did it fill you with anxiety? And how can there be any moral truisms when all ethical decisions are determined from the infinitude of our fallible choices? Anyhoo… wanna smush?”