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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Hey bike peeps

Hey bike peeps

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  • Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua LetiferA Offline
    Aqua Letifer
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    True story.

    So I'm at this annual Board meeting about 10 years ago. (I have no idea why I was there; I think some shit pertaining to the annual report. I'm easily the youngest person there.) At around 10 or so there's a coffee break, and I'm getting mine beside this old guy. I had never met him before but it turns out he's the CFO. Kind of a gruff, type A kind of a dude. He sits down and he starts talking to me about bikes. Finds out I ride bikes, too.

    He says he was kind of new to it, and just this past year he did his first century ride.

    "You ever do a century?"

    I tell him I have.

    He said, "well, that was my first one. And I didn't train for it. Just showed up on the day and thought it would be no big deal. So we do the ride and honestly, I'm feeling fine. Great in fact, I was keeping up with my buddy who signed me up, and we made it all the way through to the end together.

    At the end, there was this nice dinner they provided at this brewery. It used to be the town post office, but it was repurposed some years back. Anyway, I get my food, but I'm still carrying my helmet, my gloves, you know, and my water bottle and stuff. I sit down by the picnic tables outside and I sit on something. I get up, check my stuff, put it all down in front of me and sit down again. Again I sit on something. It feels like a helmet, like I'm going to fall down if I shift too much in my seat. But my helmet was on the table, where I put it.

    Do you know what it was?

    It was my ass, [Aqua]. It had swollen so damn much on that saddle that it blew up like a fucking balloon and now I couldn't sit straight. I looked about a foot taller sitting down."

    Please love yourself.

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    • Doctor PhibesD Offline
      Doctor PhibesD Offline
      Doctor Phibes
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      πŸ˜†

      I was only joking

      1 Reply Last reply
      • jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nycJ Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        That’s hilarious

        Only non-witches get due process.

        • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
        1 Reply Last reply
        • MikM Away
          MikM Away
          Mik
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

          β€œI am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

          1 Reply Last reply
          • B Offline
            B Offline
            blondie
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Lol, but ouch! That probably hurt for days and ended up a pretty shade of purple.

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