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The New Coffee Room

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  3. So how should I resign?

So how should I resign?

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  • G Offline
    G Offline
    George K
    wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 18:14 last edited by
    #83

    I have nothing to add to the thoughts that everyone else has expressed.

    Just hope it works out for you - and I think it will.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    T 1 Reply Last reply 18 Sept 2020, 01:14
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      LuFins Dad
      wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 20:36 last edited by
      #84

      @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

      h love to see me fired.
      On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
      I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

      My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

      The Brad

      A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 21:38
      • L LuFins Dad
        17 Sept 2020, 20:36

        @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

        h love to see me fired.
        On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
        I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

        My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

        A Offline
        A Offline
        Aqua Letifer
        wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 21:38 last edited by
        #85

        @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

        @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

        h love to see me fired.
        On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
        I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

        My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

        It was a joke taken very seriously by HR and the dept. head. She basically signed me up to work Mother's Day Sunday without really telling me that was the plan, so when I told her I'd be unavailable she lost her shit and told me I needed to clear all my weekend activities with her. I clarified this in an e-mail by asking her if I understood that correctly. (I was documenting.)

        Apparently that was belligerent, disrespectful, and antagonistic, which the HR person agreed. We all had a meeting in which they read me the riot act, and asked me to sign a document confirming that I understood the allegations, and that if there was ever another incident, I would be summarily fired. I signed, but in the comments section, I mentioned that I was concerned that when I reached out to HR about previous issues with the department head regarding office bullying, she directed me to speak to the department head about it and further, when I did, both of them agreed that bullying allegations of that nature need to be directed to the department head, even if the allegations are directed at the department head. All this was said to me in the meeting, and my boss was on the call. Further, they didn't deny it. So that's in the final action notice. I sent them back a scanned PDF so they couldn't delete that part of it without some serious file manipulation.

        So that was that.

        Please love yourself.

        G 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 21:55
        • L Offline
          L Offline
          LuFins Dad
          wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 21:55 last edited by
          #86

          I remember that incident, but they said the fact that you asked for clarification and were documenting the email chain was bullying, antagonistic, and disrespectful? They then proceeded to bully you and document it with an official notice?

          Yeah, this HR person is getting nervous.

          The Brad

          1 Reply Last reply
          • A Aqua Letifer
            17 Sept 2020, 21:38

            @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

            @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

            h love to see me fired.
            On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
            I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

            My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

            It was a joke taken very seriously by HR and the dept. head. She basically signed me up to work Mother's Day Sunday without really telling me that was the plan, so when I told her I'd be unavailable she lost her shit and told me I needed to clear all my weekend activities with her. I clarified this in an e-mail by asking her if I understood that correctly. (I was documenting.)

            Apparently that was belligerent, disrespectful, and antagonistic, which the HR person agreed. We all had a meeting in which they read me the riot act, and asked me to sign a document confirming that I understood the allegations, and that if there was ever another incident, I would be summarily fired. I signed, but in the comments section, I mentioned that I was concerned that when I reached out to HR about previous issues with the department head regarding office bullying, she directed me to speak to the department head about it and further, when I did, both of them agreed that bullying allegations of that nature need to be directed to the department head, even if the allegations are directed at the department head. All this was said to me in the meeting, and my boss was on the call. Further, they didn't deny it. So that's in the final action notice. I sent them back a scanned PDF so they couldn't delete that part of it without some serious file manipulation.

            So that was that.

            G Offline
            G Offline
            George K
            wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 21:55 last edited by George K
            #87

            @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

            I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

            (emphasis added)

            What the actual fuck?

            Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

            A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 21:59
            • G George K
              17 Sept 2020, 21:55

              @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

              I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

              (emphasis added)

              What the actual fuck?

              Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

              A Offline
              A Offline
              Aqua Letifer
              wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 21:59 last edited by
              #88

              @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

              @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

              I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

              (emphasis added)

              What the actual fuck?

              Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

              Thing is, what the dept. head meant (I believe) was, "if I need you to be available, you need to know that and tell me ahead of time that you have plans so that I can tell you whether or not I need you to cancel them." But I think the email was sent in anger and so the language wasn't the clearest. Just a guess.

              Please love yourself.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • M Offline
                M Offline
                Mik
                wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:06 last edited by
                #89

                Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                G 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 22:10
                • M Mik
                  17 Sept 2020, 22:06

                  Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:10 last edited by
                  #90

                  @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                  Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                  Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME. Is that part of your job description? I'd guess not.

                  And, as Mik says, it's in writing, and vague enough to be actionable.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 22:24
                  • G George K
                    17 Sept 2020, 22:10

                    @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                    Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                    Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME. Is that part of your job description? I'd guess not.

                    And, as Mik says, it's in writing, and vague enough to be actionable.

                    A Offline
                    A Offline
                    Aqua Letifer
                    wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:24 last edited by
                    #91

                    @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                    @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                    Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                    Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME.

                    Yes. And she also told me over the phone that mine is a "24/7 job." I have that conversation logged as well.

                    Please love yourself.

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • M Offline
                      M Offline
                      Mik
                      wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:34 last edited by
                      #92

                      A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                      G 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 22:35
                      • M Mik
                        17 Sept 2020, 22:34

                        A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                        G Offline
                        G Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:35 last edited by
                        #93

                        @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                        A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                        Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        A 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 23:25
                        • K Offline
                          K Offline
                          kluurs
                          wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 22:53 last edited by
                          #94

                          Long, long ago the person I was working for was fired. I immediately stepped up and was made the interim manager of the department and remained so for over a year. At the of the next year, our office was documented as one of 3 exemplary programs among some 20 across the country. I had brought order from chaos. In addition to being the program head, I was also the lead producer and edited a national newsletter and represented even got a commendation for providing assistance to a congressional hearing.

                          The only problem? With the exception of the receptionist, I was the least paid of staff. One of the people working for me didn't even have a college degree. I went to my boss - and said I wanted to make what the non-college educated person was making - not what the highest paid person in the department - just so I wasn't the lowest paid person. Seem reasonable?

                          "I'm not comfortable with that..." was her response.

                          I submitted my resignation the next day. To be honest, I blew it - two different ways. First, people above my boss asked me if there was anything they could do. I said something about going to school full-time rather than explaining the stupidity of the salary situation. Second thing was that I was out of work for several months - and they fought unemployment. I screwed myself at a time in my life when I could ill afford such theatrics.

                          I should have either taken the salary business up with higher ups and likely would have gotten support - or else, found something somewhere else - and then told them adios.

                          As it was, my boss hired a PhD which was always her fantasy - and within a couple of years, the program was on probation. I stopped by the office a couple few years later - no one there who had worked with me - but the people there treated me as though I was a legend. It was universally understood by people in the department and throughout the organization that my time there represented the high water mark of performance.

                          It was nice to know that I'd done well - but not at the expense of screwing myself.

                          As for your situation, let her bring it on. At worst, it was a misunderstanding. On the 10 point list of annoyances, probably a 2.

                          A 1 Reply Last reply 18 Sept 2020, 14:04
                          • G George K
                            17 Sept 2020, 22:35

                            @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                            A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                            Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                            A Offline
                            A Offline
                            Aqua Letifer
                            wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 23:25 last edited by
                            #95

                            @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                            @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                            A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                            Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                            I asked for clarification on that, actually. I was told that the dept head could change it at any minute. I asked if that was the case, I'd like an updated one. The HR person outright refused.

                            Please love yourself.

                            G 1 Reply Last reply 17 Sept 2020, 23:27
                            • A Aqua Letifer
                              17 Sept 2020, 23:25

                              @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                              @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                              A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                              Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                              I asked for clarification on that, actually. I was told that the dept head could change it at any minute. I asked if that was the case, I'd like an updated one. The HR person outright refused.

                              G Offline
                              G Offline
                              George K
                              wrote on 17 Sept 2020, 23:27 last edited by
                              #96

                              @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                              @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                              @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                              A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                              Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                              I asked for clarification on that, actually. I was told that the dept head could change it at any minute. I asked if that was the case, I'd like an updated one. The HR person outright refused.

                              Nope nope nope. This is not what you signed up for, and they're changing it without notification.

                              Find a lawyer.

                              It's one thing to be a pain in the ass, but to sue someone, well, that's a whole 'nother thing.

                              You don't have to actually sue, but this sounds like something that would make a labor-relations attorney salivate.

                              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • R Offline
                                R Offline
                                Rainman
                                wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 00:00 last edited by
                                #97

                                I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                A J 2 Replies Last reply 18 Sept 2020, 00:06
                                • R Rainman
                                  18 Sept 2020, 00:00

                                  I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                  A Offline
                                  A Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 00:06 last edited by
                                  #98

                                  @Rainman said in So how should I resign?:

                                  I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                  The great debate. I really don't know.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • G George K
                                    17 Sept 2020, 18:14

                                    I have nothing to add to the thoughts that everyone else has expressed.

                                    Just hope it works out for you - and I think it will.

                                    T Offline
                                    T Offline
                                    taiwan_girl
                                    wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 01:14 last edited by
                                    #99

                                    @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                                    I have nothing to add to the thoughts that everyone else has expressed.

                                    Just hope it works out for you - and I think it will.

                                    What GoegreK said. Good luck!!!!

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • R Rainman
                                      18 Sept 2020, 00:00

                                      I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                      J Offline
                                      J Offline
                                      Jolly
                                      wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 01:15 last edited by
                                      #100

                                      @Rainman said in So how should I resign?:

                                      I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                      Ask the lawyer. They'll know.

                                      “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

                                      Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

                                      G AxtremusA 2 Replies Last reply 18 Sept 2020, 01:41
                                      • J Jolly
                                        18 Sept 2020, 01:15

                                        @Rainman said in So how should I resign?:

                                        I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                        Ask the lawyer. They'll know.

                                        G Offline
                                        G Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 01:41 last edited by George K
                                        #101

                                        @Jolly said in So how should I resign?:

                                        Ask the lawyer. They'll know.

                                        "How much will it cost?"

                                        "How much will you gain?"

                                        "Is it worth it?"

                                        Do you feel lucky?

                                        alt text

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • J Jolly
                                          18 Sept 2020, 01:15

                                          @Rainman said in So how should I resign?:

                                          I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                          Ask the lawyer. They'll know.

                                          AxtremusA Offline
                                          AxtremusA Offline
                                          Axtremus
                                          wrote on 18 Sept 2020, 13:59 last edited by
                                          #102

                                          @Jolly said in So how should I resign?:

                                          @Rainman said in So how should I resign?:

                                          I agree with George. You could find an attorney. But, is it worth it, as opposed to just getting the hell away from these people?

                                          Ask the lawyer. They'll know.

                                          @kluurs is a lawyer. It does not read like @kluurs is recommending litigation.

                                          As for @Aqua-Letifer, sorry man, that your work life sucks for you right now. May be one course of action may yield more material gains than another, but may eat at your psyche inside. It's one of those "money vs. soul, which is one more important" questions. Having read your posts in TNCR for so many years, this wouldn't be the first time you choose "not money" and may be that's what's needed for you to be able to live with yourself. No judgement either way. I have seen people make different weighings between "putting up with The Man to make more money" and "giving The Man the finger to live happier" at different times in the lives. They each have to balance financial well-being with psychological health from moment to moment. Just got to do what's right for you and for the people you love who may depend on you. Good luck, man.

                                          R 1 Reply Last reply 18 Sept 2020, 19:39
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