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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
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  3. So how should I resign?

So how should I resign?

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  • CopperC Offline
    CopperC Offline
    Copper
    wrote on last edited by
    #76

    female(with HR) vs white male under 40

    You lose

    Sorry, but privilege has a cost

    1 Reply Last reply
    • Doctor PhibesD Offline
      Doctor PhibesD Offline
      Doctor Phibes
      wrote on last edited by
      #77

      I suspect the biggest problem isn't Aqua's innate privilege, more likely it's her pay-grade.

      Still, they could get rid of a very expensive looney-toon.

      I was only joking

      JollyJ 1 Reply Last reply
      • MikM Offline
        MikM Offline
        Mik
        wrote on last edited by Mik
        #78

        When an exec continually has conflicts with an employee eventually they start looking at the exec. That should happen here, especially since you just did what she asked you to do. If she wnted it reformatted she should have made that clear up front.

        Again, if you you don't tell people what you want, don't blame them if you don't get it.

        “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

        1 Reply Last reply
        • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes

          I suspect the biggest problem isn't Aqua's innate privilege, more likely it's her pay-grade.

          Still, they could get rid of a very expensive looney-toon.

          JollyJ Offline
          JollyJ Offline
          Jolly
          wrote on last edited by
          #79

          @Doctor-Phibes said in So how should I resign?:

          I suspect the biggest problem isn't Aqua's innate privilege, more likely it's her pay-grade.

          Still, they could get rid of a very expensive looney-toon.

          Management does not like problem children. The only reason they have suffered her this long, is because she's female.

          She has now become an irritant.

          “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

          Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

          1 Reply Last reply
          • Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua LetiferA Offline
            Aqua Letifer
            wrote on last edited by
            #80

            She's speaking with HR, apparently, making her move. Likely Waterloo will be Monday-Tuesday next week. I've already had a Notice of Final Action against me, and our HR "consultant" would very much love to see me fired.

            On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.

            I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect for my friends, and jumping ship right damn now.

            Please love yourself.

            1 Reply Last reply
            • MikM Offline
              MikM Offline
              Mik
              wrote on last edited by
              #81

              You didn't do anything here, unless you wrote to the originator in language that implied 'this dumb bitch has these silly-ass concerns. Please comment'. If your language was neutral and helpful she's got nothing.

              Even if you do get fired you can be sure that she will not be far behind. Either that or the organization will see a talent exodus.

              “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

              Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
              • MikM Mik

                You didn't do anything here, unless you wrote to the originator in language that implied 'this dumb bitch has these silly-ass concerns. Please comment'. If your language was neutral and helpful she's got nothing.

                Even if you do get fired you can be sure that she will not be far behind. Either that or the organization will see a talent exodus.

                Aqua LetiferA Offline
                Aqua LetiferA Offline
                Aqua Letifer
                wrote on last edited by
                #82

                @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                You didn't do anything here, unless you wrote to the originator in language that implied 'this dumb bitch has these silly-ass concerns. Please comment'. If your language was neutral and helpful she's got nothing.

                Nope, my boss and I went over that very thoroughly. We're good there.

                Please love yourself.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • George KG Offline
                  George KG Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #83

                  I have nothing to add to the thoughts that everyone else has expressed.

                  Just hope it works out for you - and I think it will.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  taiwan_girlT 1 Reply Last reply
                  • LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins DadL Offline
                    LuFins Dad
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #84

                    @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                    h love to see me fired.
                    On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
                    I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

                    My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

                    The Brad

                    Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                    • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

                      @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                      h love to see me fired.
                      On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
                      I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

                      My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                      Aqua LetiferA Offline
                      Aqua Letifer
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #85

                      @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

                      @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                      h love to see me fired.
                      On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
                      I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

                      My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

                      It was a joke taken very seriously by HR and the dept. head. She basically signed me up to work Mother's Day Sunday without really telling me that was the plan, so when I told her I'd be unavailable she lost her shit and told me I needed to clear all my weekend activities with her. I clarified this in an e-mail by asking her if I understood that correctly. (I was documenting.)

                      Apparently that was belligerent, disrespectful, and antagonistic, which the HR person agreed. We all had a meeting in which they read me the riot act, and asked me to sign a document confirming that I understood the allegations, and that if there was ever another incident, I would be summarily fired. I signed, but in the comments section, I mentioned that I was concerned that when I reached out to HR about previous issues with the department head regarding office bullying, she directed me to speak to the department head about it and further, when I did, both of them agreed that bullying allegations of that nature need to be directed to the department head, even if the allegations are directed at the department head. All this was said to me in the meeting, and my boss was on the call. Further, they didn't deny it. So that's in the final action notice. I sent them back a scanned PDF so they couldn't delete that part of it without some serious file manipulation.

                      So that was that.

                      Please love yourself.

                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                      • LuFins DadL Offline
                        LuFins DadL Offline
                        LuFins Dad
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #86

                        I remember that incident, but they said the fact that you asked for clarification and were documenting the email chain was bullying, antagonistic, and disrespectful? They then proceeded to bully you and document it with an official notice?

                        Yeah, this HR person is getting nervous.

                        The Brad

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Aqua LetiferA Aqua Letifer

                          @LuFins-Dad said in So how should I resign?:

                          @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                          h love to see me fired.
                          On the other side of things you have many staff members who have problems with her, and have vouched for me, as is my boss and the EA.
                          I'm torn between seeing all this out, out of respect fo

                          My guess is that HR may be facing their own issues from this. You mentioned that HR actually made this hire? And they keep backing her? On top of that, who filed the Notice of Final Action and what was that concerning? If it was based on all of these recent interactions with this lady, your HR person may be sweating.

                          It was a joke taken very seriously by HR and the dept. head. She basically signed me up to work Mother's Day Sunday without really telling me that was the plan, so when I told her I'd be unavailable she lost her shit and told me I needed to clear all my weekend activities with her. I clarified this in an e-mail by asking her if I understood that correctly. (I was documenting.)

                          Apparently that was belligerent, disrespectful, and antagonistic, which the HR person agreed. We all had a meeting in which they read me the riot act, and asked me to sign a document confirming that I understood the allegations, and that if there was ever another incident, I would be summarily fired. I signed, but in the comments section, I mentioned that I was concerned that when I reached out to HR about previous issues with the department head regarding office bullying, she directed me to speak to the department head about it and further, when I did, both of them agreed that bullying allegations of that nature need to be directed to the department head, even if the allegations are directed at the department head. All this was said to me in the meeting, and my boss was on the call. Further, they didn't deny it. So that's in the final action notice. I sent them back a scanned PDF so they couldn't delete that part of it without some serious file manipulation.

                          So that was that.

                          George KG Offline
                          George KG Offline
                          George K
                          wrote on last edited by George K
                          #87

                          @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                          I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

                          (emphasis added)

                          What the actual fuck?

                          Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

                          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                          Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                          • George KG George K

                            @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                            I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

                            (emphasis added)

                            What the actual fuck?

                            Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

                            Aqua LetiferA Offline
                            Aqua LetiferA Offline
                            Aqua Letifer
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #88

                            @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                            @Aqua-Letifer said in So how should I resign?:

                            I needed to clear ALL my weekend activities with her.

                            (emphasis added)

                            What the actual fuck?

                            Does that include, "I'm going to ride my bike?" How about "I plan to have sex with my wife?" or, "I plan to shower on Sunday morning?"

                            Thing is, what the dept. head meant (I believe) was, "if I need you to be available, you need to know that and tell me ahead of time that you have plans so that I can tell you whether or not I need you to cancel them." But I think the email was sent in anger and so the language wasn't the clearest. Just a guess.

                            Please love yourself.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • MikM Offline
                              MikM Offline
                              Mik
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #89

                              Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                              “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                              George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                              • MikM Mik

                                Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                                George KG Offline
                                George KG Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #90

                                @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                                Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME. Is that part of your job description? I'd guess not.

                                And, as Mik says, it's in writing, and vague enough to be actionable.

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                • George KG George K

                                  @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                  Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                                  Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME. Is that part of your job description? I'd guess not.

                                  And, as Mik says, it's in writing, and vague enough to be actionable.

                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                  Aqua Letifer
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #91

                                  @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                                  @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                  Nonetheless, that is the written trail. Intent is unlikely to override specificity should push come to shove.

                                  Exactly. That email says that you must be available ALL THE TIME.

                                  Yes. And she also told me over the phone that mine is a "24/7 job." I have that conversation logged as well.

                                  Please love yourself.

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • MikM Offline
                                    MikM Offline
                                    Mik
                                    wrote on last edited by
                                    #92

                                    A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                                    “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                                    • MikM Mik

                                      A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                                      George KG Offline
                                      George KG Offline
                                      George K
                                      wrote on last edited by
                                      #93

                                      @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                      A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                                      Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                      Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                      • kluursK Offline
                                        kluursK Offline
                                        kluurs
                                        wrote on last edited by
                                        #94

                                        Long, long ago the person I was working for was fired. I immediately stepped up and was made the interim manager of the department and remained so for over a year. At the of the next year, our office was documented as one of 3 exemplary programs among some 20 across the country. I had brought order from chaos. In addition to being the program head, I was also the lead producer and edited a national newsletter and represented even got a commendation for providing assistance to a congressional hearing.

                                        The only problem? With the exception of the receptionist, I was the least paid of staff. One of the people working for me didn't even have a college degree. I went to my boss - and said I wanted to make what the non-college educated person was making - not what the highest paid person in the department - just so I wasn't the lowest paid person. Seem reasonable?

                                        "I'm not comfortable with that..." was her response.

                                        I submitted my resignation the next day. To be honest, I blew it - two different ways. First, people above my boss asked me if there was anything they could do. I said something about going to school full-time rather than explaining the stupidity of the salary situation. Second thing was that I was out of work for several months - and they fought unemployment. I screwed myself at a time in my life when I could ill afford such theatrics.

                                        I should have either taken the salary business up with higher ups and likely would have gotten support - or else, found something somewhere else - and then told them adios.

                                        As it was, my boss hired a PhD which was always her fantasy - and within a couple of years, the program was on probation. I stopped by the office a couple few years later - no one there who had worked with me - but the people there treated me as though I was a legend. It was universally understood by people in the department and throughout the organization that my time there represented the high water mark of performance.

                                        It was nice to know that I'd done well - but not at the expense of screwing myself.

                                        As for your situation, let her bring it on. At worst, it was a misunderstanding. On the 10 point list of annoyances, probably a 2.

                                        Aqua LetiferA 1 Reply Last reply
                                        • George KG George K

                                          @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                          A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                                          Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua LetiferA Offline
                                          Aqua Letifer
                                          wrote on last edited by
                                          #95

                                          @George-K said in So how should I resign?:

                                          @Mik said in So how should I resign?:

                                          A 24/7 job? For a non-profit? Please.

                                          Exactly. Is that in your contract/job-description? If not, well, you have some serious ammunition there.

                                          I asked for clarification on that, actually. I was told that the dept head could change it at any minute. I asked if that was the case, I'd like an updated one. The HR person outright refused.

                                          Please love yourself.

                                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
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