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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. How to wipe your butt the right way

How to wipe your butt the right way

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  • HoraceH Offline
    HoraceH Offline
    Horace
    wrote on last edited by
    #3

    Butt wiping is so gross. I simply refuse to do it.

    Education is extremely important.

    MikM 1 Reply Last reply
    • markM Offline
      markM Offline
      mark
      wrote on last edited by
      #4

      Bidet, bum. (Meant as a rimshot pun) wait, isn't rimshot also part of the pun? 🤣

      1 Reply Last reply
      • HoraceH Horace

        Butt wiping is so gross. I simply refuse to do it.

        MikM Offline
        MikM Offline
        Mik
        wrote on last edited by
        #5

        @Horace said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

        Butt wiping is so gross. I simply refuse to do it.

        Well, now that you live in Texas, no problem.

        “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

        1 Reply Last reply
        • jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nycJ Offline
          jon-nyc
          wrote on last edited by
          #6

          “If a person has a vulva, meaning they have an opening to the vagina as well as an opening for the urethra, …”

          If only there were a single word in English to concisely express this idea…

          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

          George KG 1 Reply Last reply
          • MikM Offline
            MikM Offline
            Mik
            wrote on last edited by
            #7

            Does seem a bit wordy.

            “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

            1 Reply Last reply
            • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

              “If a person has a vulva, meaning they have an opening to the vagina as well as an opening for the urethra, …”

              If only there were a single word in English to concisely express this idea…

              George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #8

              @jon-nyc said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

              If only there were a single word in English to concisely express this idea

              I can think of at least two...

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • AxtremusA Offline
                AxtremusA Offline
                Axtremus
                wrote on last edited by
                #9

                A more concise and operationally comprehensive way of saying it is "if you have another bodily orifice near the anus, wipe away from the other orifice."

                For those who have learnt object-oriented programming, it's simply knowing the difference between the "is a" relationship and the "has a" relationship.

                It's quite unnecessary to pass the whole object or implicate the whole class when all you need operationally is to check one attribute of an instance -- whether there is another bodily orifice near the anus -- to determine the recommended wipe direction.

                Minimal dependency on extraneous information, lower risk of complications and easier maintenance down the line.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nycJ Offline
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #10

                  An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                  They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                  AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ jon-nyc

                    An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                    AxtremusA Offline
                    AxtremusA Offline
                    Axtremus
                    wrote on last edited by Axtremus
                    #11

                    @jon-nyc said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                    An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                    That would not include eunuchs (depends on how the castration was done) and boys with severe hypospadias and undescended testicles, or other congenital abnormalities, injuries, physiological and medical conditions not captured by the term “women.” Functionally, it really is about whether there is another bodily orifice near the anus, and to wipe away from it if there is.

                    George KG jon-nycJ 2 Replies Last reply
                    • MikM Offline
                      MikM Offline
                      Mik
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #12

                      This got more comments than I expected.

                      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • AxtremusA Axtremus

                        @jon-nyc said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                        An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                        That would not include eunuchs (depends on how the castration was done) and boys with severe hypospadias and undescended testicles, or other congenital abnormalities, injuries, physiological and medical conditions not captured by the term “women.” Functionally, it really is about whether there is another bodily orifice near the anus, and to wipe away from it if there is.

                        George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #13

                        @Axtremus said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                        severe hypospadias

                        Never heard of a hypospadias being posterior to the scrotum. At the scrotum, perhaps, but never posterior to it.

                        and undescended testicles

                        That has nothing to do with orifices.

                        By the way...what's the EKG sign of a hypospadia?

                        ekg-ecg-interpretation-p-qrs-st-t-wave-3393849010.jpg

                        ***the answer.***

                        click to show

                        Inverted "P".

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        bachophileB 1 Reply Last reply
                        • AxtremusA Axtremus

                          @jon-nyc said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                          An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                          That would not include eunuchs (depends on how the castration was done) and boys with severe hypospadias and undescended testicles, or other congenital abnormalities, injuries, physiological and medical conditions not captured by the term “women.” Functionally, it really is about whether there is another bodily orifice near the anus, and to wipe away from it if there is.

                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on last edited by jon-nyc
                          #14

                          @Axtremus said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                          @jon-nyc said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                          An even more concise way is ‘women should wipe front to back’.

                          That would not include eunuchs (depends on how the castration was done) and boys with severe hypospadias and undescended testicles, or other congenital abnormalities, injuries, physiological and medical conditions not captured by the term “women.” Functionally, it really is about whether there is another bodily orifice near the anus, and to wipe away from it if there is.

                          On the highly unlikely chance that there’s any overlap between the set of people with such conditions and the set of people who will read this article, when they read the reasoning behind the advice given to women they will be able to figure out if it applies to them.

                          At any rate this deconstruction of women into parts and functions is misogynistic and should be discouraged.

                          They’ll end up, after a lot of drama, with the same formula they use every time they have a trifecta: take away health care and food assistance from low income families and use the money to fund tax cuts for their donors.

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • MikM Offline
                            MikM Offline
                            Mik
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #15

                            👆

                            “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • George KG George K

                              @Axtremus said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                              severe hypospadias

                              Never heard of a hypospadias being posterior to the scrotum. At the scrotum, perhaps, but never posterior to it.

                              and undescended testicles

                              That has nothing to do with orifices.

                              By the way...what's the EKG sign of a hypospadia?

                              ekg-ecg-interpretation-p-qrs-st-t-wave-3393849010.jpg

                              ***the answer.***

                              click to show

                              Inverted "P".

                              bachophileB Offline
                              bachophileB Offline
                              bachophile
                              wrote on last edited by
                              #16

                              @George-K said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                              @Axtremus said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                              severe hypospadias

                              Never heard of a hypospadias being posterior to the scrotum. At the scrotum, perhaps, but never posterior to it.

                              and undescended testicles

                              That has nothing to do with orifices.

                              By the way...what's the EKG sign of a hypospadia?

                              ekg-ecg-interpretation-p-qrs-st-t-wave-3393849010.jpg

                              ***the answer.***

                              click to show

                              Inverted "P".

                              You understand that I’m the only one here besides you who has ever heard of a p wave.

                              George KG 1 Reply Last reply
                              • bachophileB bachophile

                                @George-K said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                                @Axtremus said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                                severe hypospadias

                                Never heard of a hypospadias being posterior to the scrotum. At the scrotum, perhaps, but never posterior to it.

                                and undescended testicles

                                That has nothing to do with orifices.

                                By the way...what's the EKG sign of a hypospadia?

                                ekg-ecg-interpretation-p-qrs-st-t-wave-3393849010.jpg

                                ***the answer.***

                                click to show

                                Inverted "P".

                                You understand that I’m the only one here besides you who has ever heard of a p wave.

                                George KG Offline
                                George KG Offline
                                George K
                                wrote on last edited by
                                #17

                                @bachophile said in How to wipe your butt the right way:

                                You understand that I’m the only one here besides you who has ever heard of a p wave.

                                Of course.

                                However, I always make a point of telling that joke whenever someone mentions "hypospadia."

                                Even if the anticipated audience is only one.

                                "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • MikM Offline
                                  MikM Offline
                                  Mik
                                  wrote on last edited by
                                  #18

                                  Not so! I have.

                                  “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                                  1 Reply Last reply
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