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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread

The Dark or Inappropriate Humor Thread

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  • C Offline
    C Offline
    Catseye3
    wrote on 14 Jan 2021, 16:14 last edited by
    #104

    A Navy ship at sea.

    The troops are mustered on deck. The deck officer announces, "Now hear this. Ensign Johnson, your mother died."

    The captain was furious. "That was a terrible way to handle such a thing! If this ever happens again, I want to see a lot more sensitivity, mister!"

    Months pass. The troops are again in formation. The deck officer: "All personnel whose mothers have not died take one step forward -- not so fast, Seaman Grabowski!"

    Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

    1 Reply Last reply
    • L Offline
      L Offline
      LuFins Dad
      wrote on 14 Jan 2021, 21:51 last edited by
      #105

      What was the last thing to cross Christa McCauliffe’s mind before she died?

      The control panel.

      The Brad

      1 Reply Last reply
      • J Online
        J Online
        jon-nyc
        wrote on 21 Jan 2021, 19:10 last edited by
        #106

        I would have said gametes but still...

        7BDAE2E9-6B80-4D66-A4ED-C580BD6D84C5.jpeg

        You were warned.

        L 1 Reply Last reply 21 Jan 2021, 19:50
        • J jon-nyc
          21 Jan 2021, 19:10

          I would have said gametes but still...

          7BDAE2E9-6B80-4D66-A4ED-C580BD6D84C5.jpeg

          L Offline
          L Offline
          LuFins Dad
          wrote on 21 Jan 2021, 19:50 last edited by
          #107

          @jon-nyc said in The Dark and Inappropriate Humor Thread:

          I would have said gametes but still...

          7BDAE2E9-6B80-4D66-A4ED-C580BD6D84C5.jpeg

          He was a Psychiatrist and a Pediatrician. Isn’t that wonderful?

          Just about every seriously messed up person I know majored in Psychiatry.

          The Brad

          1 Reply Last reply
          • J Online
            J Online
            jon-nyc
            wrote on 22 Jan 2021, 20:38 last edited by
            #108

            1E7E3D15-1C62-4CED-907F-E9D7F7E1BF87.jpeg

            You were warned.

            M 1 Reply Last reply 9 Feb 2021, 22:42
            • J Online
              J Online
              jon-nyc
              wrote on 9 Feb 2021, 21:32 last edited by
              #109

              0CB27BAE-81FC-45EC-B554-D34BD1D7CD77.jpeg

              You were warned.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • J jon-nyc
                22 Jan 2021, 20:38

                1E7E3D15-1C62-4CED-907F-E9D7F7E1BF87.jpeg

                M Offline
                M Offline
                Mik
                wrote on 9 Feb 2021, 22:42 last edited by
                #110

                @jon-nyc said in The Dark and Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                1E7E3D15-1C62-4CED-907F-E9D7F7E1BF87.jpeg

                Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

                “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                1 Reply Last reply
                • J Online
                  J Online
                  jon-nyc
                  wrote on 11 Feb 2021, 17:00 last edited by
                  #111

                  9649243E-A253-4688-AACB-EEBEB2813302.jpeg

                  You were warned.

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • A Offline
                    A Offline
                    AndyD
                    wrote on 11 Feb 2021, 21:11 last edited by
                    #112

                    Two wives go for a girls’ night out, both get drunk, start walking home but have to pee.
                    They stop at a cemetery, but there’s nothing to wipe with, so one uses her panties, the other grabs a wreath off a grave!
                    Next morning one husband calls the other and says “No more girls’ nights out, my wife came back with no panties."
                    The other husband says “You think that’s bad, mine came back with a card in her crack that read ‘From all of us at the Fire Station, we’ll never forget you’ "

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • J Online
                      J Online
                      jon-nyc
                      wrote on 11 Feb 2021, 21:14 last edited by
                      #113

                      Ha - I posted that the other day in the 'So' thread.

                      We probably got it from the same viral audio feed.

                      You were warned.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • HoraceH Offline
                        HoraceH Offline
                        Horace
                        wrote on 11 Feb 2021, 23:25 last edited by Horace 2 Nov 2021, 23:25
                        #114

                        Reminds me of the documentary I watched recently called "Time". A black man and wife, the wife apparently pregnant with twins, attempted an armed robbery of a bank. It was never described. The woman accepted a plea deal and got out in 4 years. The man did not accept the deal and was sentenced to 60 years. The woman is very intelligent, is a slam poetry type. She spent most of the documentary doing slam poetry about the bigotry of the system, which she not only analogized with slavery, but actually identified with it. She's a prison abolitionist. She made at least one really smart kid. She made some others while her husband was in prison doing his "time", which was never explained in the documentary. Eventually he was granted clemency after 20 years, again which was never explained. He got out and he and his wife had sex in the limo on the way from the jail. She rented a limo. The documentary got 98% positive from Rotten Tomatoes critics, and 44% from audience critics. This is because racism, of course. Also the executive producers of the film included the Steve Jobs billionaire heiress and one other prominent white heir. So much guilt, so little money.

                        The amazon reviews (not the critic reviews) were interesting to read. I only watched it because it was recommended by someone I (previously) trusted.

                        Education is extremely important.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • Doctor PhibesD Online
                          Doctor PhibesD Online
                          Doctor Phibes
                          wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:17 last edited by
                          #115

                          Did you turn off in disgust as the end credits started to roll?

                          That's what I always do with filth.

                          I was only joking

                          HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply 12 Feb 2021, 00:20
                          • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes
                            12 Feb 2021, 00:17

                            Did you turn off in disgust as the end credits started to roll?

                            That's what I always do with filth.

                            HoraceH Offline
                            HoraceH Offline
                            Horace
                            wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:20 last edited by
                            #116

                            @doctor-phibes said in The Dark and Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                            Did you turn off in disgust as the end credits started to roll?

                            That's what I always do with filth.

                            You think I shy away from stuff on the other side?

                            I would love it if someone else on this forum had watched it and told me what they think. I'm pretty positive what everybody on WTF would think. I just want to see where on the continuum my perspective may lie.

                            Education is extremely important.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • Doctor PhibesD Online
                              Doctor PhibesD Online
                              Doctor Phibes
                              wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:23 last edited by
                              #117

                              Personally, I shy away from shite.

                              My brother gave me Fahrenheit 9/11, and I never made it to the end, despite it being a gift from my brother. I returned the favour by getting him a book by P. J. O'Rourke.

                              I was only joking

                              HoraceH 1 Reply Last reply 12 Feb 2021, 00:24
                              • Doctor PhibesD Doctor Phibes
                                12 Feb 2021, 00:23

                                Personally, I shy away from shite.

                                My brother gave me Fahrenheit 9/11, and I never made it to the end, despite it being a gift from my brother. I returned the favour by getting him a book by P. J. O'Rourke.

                                HoraceH Offline
                                HoraceH Offline
                                Horace
                                wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:24 last edited by
                                #118

                                @doctor-phibes said in The Dark and Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                                Personally, I shy away from shite.

                                My brother gave me Fahrenheit 9/11, and I never made it to the end, despite it being a gift from my brother. I returned the favour by getting him a book by P. J. O'Rourke.

                                I take political ideas and messaging seriously, and I try to understand them. They are, actually, important.

                                Education is extremely important.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • Doctor PhibesD Online
                                  Doctor PhibesD Online
                                  Doctor Phibes
                                  wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:27 last edited by
                                  #119

                                  If I watch all that stuff, I'm never going to have time to fit in the music practice and computer games, not necessarily in that order.

                                  I was only joking

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  • HoraceH Offline
                                    HoraceH Offline
                                    Horace
                                    wrote on 12 Feb 2021, 00:27 last edited by
                                    #120

                                    This documentary was recommended to me by a national podcast which is comedic and completely non political. Then I watched it. Then I looked at the professional critics reviews, then I looked at the audience reviews. I thought it was interesting.

                                    Education is extremely important.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • M Offline
                                      M Offline
                                      Mik
                                      wrote on 16 Feb 2021, 00:33 last edited by
                                      #121

                                      Big excitement at the Autopsy Club. It’s Open Mike Night.

                                      “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

                                      George KG 1 Reply Last reply 16 Feb 2021, 00:35
                                      • M Mik
                                        16 Feb 2021, 00:33

                                        Big excitement at the Autopsy Club. It’s Open Mike Night.

                                        George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on 16 Feb 2021, 00:35 last edited by
                                        #122

                                        @mik said in The Dark and Inappropriate Humor Thread:

                                        Big excitement at the Autopsy Club. It’s Open Mike Night.

                                        In medical school, our cadaver's name was "Earnest."

                                        As in "Digging in...."

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • CopperC Offline
                                          CopperC Offline
                                          Copper
                                          wrote on 16 Feb 2021, 02:55 last edited by
                                          #123

                                          What do you call a guy on the front porch with no arms and no legs?

                                          Matt.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
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