The Coronavirus Meme Thread
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 12:07 last edited by
https://babylonbee.com/news/biden-cuts-holes-in-medical-mask-so-he-can-still-sniff-people
Biden Cuts Hole In Mask So He Can Still Sniff People's Hair
Joe Biden has committed to wearing a mask in public to be a good example and to prevent the spread of COVID-19. Aides were disappointed and a little frightened, however, when Biden immediately cut a large hole in the middle of the mask so he could continue to invade people's personal space and sniff their hair, necks, and faces.
Staffers usually don't let Biden play with sharp objects, but he managed to find some safety scissors stashed behind the Metamucil in his campaign bus. Using the purple plastic scissors, he cut a large hole and then fitted the mask to his face, confident that he was protecting himself and others from the virus.
"That's better," he said as he cut a big hole for his schnoz. "Now I'm protecting against infection and I'm still able to give the ladies a good sniff. You know, in my day, I wore a mask just like this, as was the fashion at the time. All the kids at the pool would ask to play with the mask, and they'd run their fingers through it. In fact, one time, a gangster named CornPop was about to go cause some trouble at the sock hop, and I put some rocks in my mask and started swinging it around like a sling. You know, real Daniel and Goliath type stuff. He looked at me, tears in his eyes, and promised never again to go out and cause a ruckus."
"Anyway, that's why I'm your best choice for senator of the Roman Empire. Vote for Joe!" Biden suddenly came to and realized he was standing in a Walmart parking lot talking to a hobo.
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 12:21 last edited by
Waiting for the onion article headlined “Senator Richard Burr Proposes Capital Gains Cut for Next Round of Covid-19 Stimulus”
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 12:21 last edited by
@jon-nyc said in The Coronavirus Meme Thread:
(
Even more frequently:
Alice says something, freezes. "Alice disconnected". After an embarrasing minute: "sorry, connection problems".
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 12:44 last edited by
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 17:17 last edited by
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 17:30 last edited by
lmao
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 18:12 last edited by
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wrote on 10 Apr 2020, 19:37 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 00:17 last edited by
Social Distancing, done right!
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 10:41 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 10:57 last edited by
I know her.
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 12:19 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 12:24 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 12:25 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 20:59 last edited by
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wrote on 11 Apr 2020, 23:01 last edited by
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wrote on 12 Apr 2020, 12:10 last edited by
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wrote on 12 Apr 2020, 12:28 last edited by
@George-K said in The Coronavirus Meme Thread:
Meh, very low risk for very young children.
Most (state) government guidelines still exempt kids from having to wear face masks.
And these days most retail stores disinfect the heck out of their shopping carts after each use. If a kid wants to bite into a shopping cart handle, it is safer for the kids to do so today than it was before the pandemic. -
wrote on 12 Apr 2020, 13:39 last edited by
Lucky klaus. Can’t even shop without getting blown.
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wrote on 13 Apr 2020, 02:14 last edited by
