Global Warming Disaster
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Dangerous Amounts Of Methane Released As Republicans Rush To Buy Goya Beans
Ecologists are warning we are headed for an environmental disaster as a huge amount of methane has been released into the atmosphere in recent days. The culprit appears to be Goya's Latino foods, which Republicans rushed out to buy to show their support for Trump.
Trump supporters bought up tons of Latino foods produced by Goya, and the results were not pleasant to their families, friends, and neighbors. And now, the globe is heating up at an unprecedented rate thanks to the increase in greenhouse gasses being released into the air.
"If this keeps up, global warming will destroy the earth in days, not years," said one analyst. "This is a complete and total disaster for the environment. Please, Republicans, stop buying so many beans!"
Conservative scientists shot back, though, saying that much of the warming was due to leftists buying tons of Goya products and then burning them.
Either way, experts suggest that if you're going to buy Goya beans and other food products, you wrap yourself up in a blanket first, preferrably not while your spouse is in bed with you.
