Geek humor

[jon-nyc]

I’d tell you a joke about UDP but you might not get it.

[Klaus]

Here's a joke about TCP.
Did you get it?
Did you get it?
Did you get it?
Did you get it?

[jon-nyc]

How did the programmer’s wife get rid of her husband?

She told him “while you’re at the store, buy some eggs.”

[Klaus]

My two all time favorite geek jokes. Probably too geeky for this audience.

[jon-nyc]

Took me a while to get this one.

[Catseye3]

Loving this thread; giving me insights into geek humor.

So far, my favorite is Klaus' first all-time favorite. If I'm understanding it, I'm picturing a roomful of geeks splitting their sides laughing while the teller drones on and on, and the non-geeks looking on cluelessly and scratching their heads.

If that's not the point of the joke, then I'm even non-geekier than I thought.

[jon-nyc]

[Rainman]

For Ax:

"One day, we were doing quadratic equations, and, and,
and my "X" looked like a "T." !!!!!

Bwahahahahahahahahahah -- ghasp -- Bwahahahahahahahahha
harhar -- squeek -- harharhardihdih -- dih - Bwahahahahahaha!

:man-facepalming:

[Klaus]

@jon-nyc said in Geek puns:

Took me a while to get this one.

Hm, I'm tempted to follow up on this with a re-interpretation of this joke in terms of linear logic where "!" is spelled "of course" and means that I have an unlimited supply of the thing I'm "!"-ing. For instance, in linear logic, it would follow that I have $120 given that I have $5!, i.e. an unlimited amount of $5 notes.

I'm too lame to turn this into an actual joke, but I'm sick of the (white?) privilege the factorial function has. All the jokes are about factorial and fibonacci functions only. Nobody makes jokes about minority topics such as linear logic.

[Klaus]

@Catseye3 said in Geek puns:

Loving this thread; giving me insights into geek humor.

So far, my favorite is Klaus' first all-time favorite. If I'm understanding it, I'm picturing a roomful of geeks splitting their sides laughing while the teller drones on and on, and the non-geeks looking on cluelessly and scratching their heads.

If that's not the point of the joke, then I'm even non-geekier than I thought.

The words in that joke all come from the mathematical domain called "category theory", and Haskell programmers are infamous for phrasing every programming problem in terms of category theory in such a way that no "mere mortal" understands a single word of it.

There's an even geekier variant of this joke. It too me 15 years of my life to even understand the first half of it. If I understood it completely by the time I retire, I am ready to kick the bucket.

The other one,

is about an infamous backdoor to get around the restrictions that turn program code into mathematics. It's considered highly immoral to ever use it.

Oh, and the first two ones from Jon and me are about network protocols. UDP make no guarantees that the receiver actually receives a package. TCP has something called "Timeout-based retransmission", which means that it will send a packet again and again until it gets a confirmation that it arrived

[Axtremus]

@jon-nyc said in Geek puns:

Took me a while to get this one.

:::

230 - (220 * 0.5) = 120
5! = 1 * 2 * 3 * 4 * 5 = 120
Hence 230 - (220 * 0.5) = 5!

:::

[Horace]

It could just as easily be 5 if the order of operations was different than assumed. Just as the real, clever, answer requires that the grammar isn't as assumed.

[jon-nyc]

I have a Frege joke for you, but you wouldn’t get the reference.

[Klaus]

[jon-nyc]

Putting this one back for posterity

[jon-nyc]

[jon-nyc]

An Indian chief had three wives, all of which gave birth. The first had a boy and the chief built her a teepee of deer hide. The second also had a boy and the chief built her a teepee of antelope hide. When the third gave birth, the chief built her a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred.

Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. 'Correct,' said the chief. 'How did you figure it out?'

The warrior answered, 'It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.'

[Catseye3]

@jon-nyc said in Geek jokes:

'It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.'

[jon-nyc]

[jon-nyc]

Did you hear about the mathematician who was afraid of negative numbers?

He would stop at nothing to avoid them.