"My balls exploded."

[Jolly]

That would hurt.

https://www.cbssports.com/college-basketball/news/clemsons-brevin-galloway-describes-nsfw-injury-that-left-him-in-the-worst-pain-ive-ever-experienced/

[Catseye3]

Oy, that poor guy.

I wonder how that happens.

[jon-nyc]

It’s gotta be the vaccine. I’ve never heard a story like this before.

[Jolly]

@jon-nyc said in "My balls exploded.":

It’s gotta be the vaccine. I’ve never heard a story like this before.

Torsion?

Not uncommon. SIL's husband had it. I tried to tell him before he married her, my 4'11' SIL was a ballbuster.

Geirge or Bach can tell you how to fix it. I ain't got a clue.

[ChatGPT]

Testicular torsion is a medical emergency that occurs when the spermatic cord, which supplies blood to the testicle, becomes twisted. This cuts off the blood supply to the testicle and can cause severe pain, swelling, and discoloration of the affected testicle. Testicular torsion can occur as a result of trauma or injury to the testicles, but it can also occur spontaneously, particularly in males who have a genetic predisposition to the condition. Testicular torsion is most common in adolescent males, but it can occur at any age.

Treatment typically involves surgery to untwist the spermatic cord and reposition the testicle in the scrotum. The surgery is called Orchiopexy and it can be done in two ways, open surgery or laparoscopic surgery. The open surgery is done under general anesthesia and a small incision is made in the lower abdomen or scrotum, the testicle is then repositioned and fixed in place. Laparoscopic surgery is done under general anesthesia, and it uses small incisions and a camera to reposition the testicle.

In some cases, if the testicle is severely damaged from lack of blood flow, it may need to be removed. After the surgery, the patient will be closely monitored for any complications and will be given pain medication to manage post-operative pain. It is important to have a close follow-up with a urologist to ensure the healing process.

In some cases, where the testicles are not severely damaged, a few hours of manual detorsion can be done in the emergency room.

[George K]

@Jolly said in "My balls exploded.":

Torsion?

Been there, and done that.

Well, at the head end of the table, of course.

A true surgical emergency. This is the kind of thing that the urologist will call in the team for, regardless of the time of day/night.

[Jolly]

While we're on the subject of testes..

There are three ways I know of to castrate a calf...

1. Cut them out with a pocketknife.
2. Place a tight rubber band at the top. It cuts off the bloodflow and they'll eventually drop off.
3. Use a special tool and crush them

Only technique #1 produces supper.

[Axtremus]

Then there is this:

https://mikerowe.com/2009/02/its-a-dirty-job-and-i-love-it/

... “Grab scrotum. Cut tip. Expose testicles. Bend over. Bite down. Snap your head back. Spit testicles into bucket. Rinse and Repeat.” ...

[George K]

Calculus prof to class: "This afternoon we're going to have a little quizzie."

Student to prof: "If this is a quizzie, I'd hate to see your testes."

[Jolly]

@Axtremus said in "My balls exploded.":

Then there is this:

https://mikerowe.com/2009/02/its-a-dirty-job-and-i-love-it/

... “Grab scrotum. Cut tip. Expose testicles. Bend over. Bite down. Snap your head back. Spit testicles into bucket. Rinse and Repeat.” ...

That's sheep. I'd love to see you bend over and bite a bull calf's testicles.

Hell, I'd just like to see you hang one over the fence, like they do when making a wether.

[George K]

@Jolly said in "My balls exploded.":

I'd just like to see you hang one over the fence, like they do when making a wether.

That would just be gelding the lily.