"I'm on an Amtrak train."
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Seen on FB:
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I'm on an Amtrak train. Business class from DC to Trenton.
There is a white man.
Southern.
Loud.
And important.
Let's call him Chuck.
I'm about 8 rows behind him. He's been on his cell phone since we boarded. He's talking loud, as if he's in his home office. Everyone else in the train car seems unbothered. But I'm annoyed.
"HERE'S MY CELL NUMBER. SEVEN ZERO THREE . . . "
I write down his number.
I dial *67 then 1-703-....
"GIMME A SEC. GOT ANOTHER CALL COMIN' THROUGH. YELLL-OOOO?"
I whisper. "Hello, this is Black Jesus calling. I'm riding on Northeast bound train 176. I hope y'all find the right interns for your search. You will make it to New Brunswick in time for that teams meeting. I also think your pitch for the new project, with some minor adjustments, will be well received by the rest of the team. And I recommend either the Frog and the Peach or Steakhouse 85 for dinner tonight. But for right now, Imma need you to lower your voice while riding this train. In my name, Amen."
Click.
Dude actually stood up and looked around frantically. I kept looking at my computer like Iām not Black Jesus.
