Hay Bach! The "OR Quotes" Twitter Feed

[George K]

Protip: The appropriate greeting when showing up an hour late for your first case of the day is "I'm so sorry to be late," not, "I don't want to be help up by slow turnovers today."

[George K]

Anesthesiologist: "You're not late unless you're the last one to show up."

[George K]

Orthopedic surgeon: "Can I get two sitting stools? One for each cheek."

[George K]

Scrub tech to surgeon during toe amputation: "What are you going to do with the toe?"

Anesthesiologist: "Why? Do you want it?"

Scrub tech: "No. I'd need at least two."

[George K]

Surgeon: "Don't take anything I say personally."

Scrub tech: "I never do. I couldn't be a scrub tech if I did."

[George K]

Surgeon: "You're only as good as your plan B."

[George K]

Orthopedic Surgeon: "I totally should have peed before this case. Just thought everyone should know."

[George K]

Surgeons' comments:

"I need a squirt."

"Clean the tip."

"I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

"Can you tie me up?"

"I'm wet."

"Suck here."

[George K]

Putting only 6 screws in an 8 hole plate.

Nurse: why didn’t we use 8 screws?

Me: Sometimes we don’t fill all the holes.

Nurse: ………….

[George K]

General surgeon to RN: "I don't know that you should take it as a compliment that we get along. It may be a sign of pathology."

Plastic surgeon: "Anything that can be done, can be done wrong. Another law of surgery right there."

[George K]

One of the real PITA behaviors of some surgeons is having the circulator answer his phone while they are operating.

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ding

Ortho Surgeon: “Can you check that text for me?”
Circulator: (looks at the phone for a second) “It’s Sinnamon, with an ‘S’, she says you left your wallet at her place last night, and thanks for the extra $100.”

(Ortho Surgeon looked totally bewildered).

I work with some funny people. Maybe that’s how you get the surgeon to stop asking you to answer their phone!

[George K]

Surgeon's headlight keeps going out...

Anesthesiologist: "Should I direct some of my brilliance at the surgical site?"

[George K]

Regarding a patient with a gangrenous digit...

Anesthesiologist 1: "He just needs a chihuahua to chew it off."

Anesthesiologist 2: "He's seeing Dr X, so that's basically the same thing."

[George K]

RN: "This expires August '24."

Surgeon: "Holy shit, we better hurry up."

[George K]

Surgeon to assistant: “Where is all the blood coming from?”

Anesthesiologist: “The blood bank”

[George K]

Orthopedic surgeon: "That was so good, I need a cigarette."

[George K]

Me (anesthesiologist): the next (little old lady) cataract patient said I was adorable [beaming]

Preop nurses: awwww

Opthamologist: she’s literally here bc she can’t see

[George K]

Anesthesiologist: “You can’t fix stupid. But you can sedate it.”

[George K]

My med student today had never heard the song 867-5309….I sent her home, can’t have that kind of lack of experience in the OR.

[George K]

Patient, waking up: “We’re done??”

Anesthesiologist: “Yeah! You fell asleep, missed it!”

Patient: “How did it go?”

Anesthesiologist: “The other doctor will talk to you when you’re more awake. Anything we tell you right now you may not remember… including that.”

Patient: “… we’re done??”