Hay Bach! The "OR Quotes" Twitter Feed

[Ivorythumper]

@George-K said in Hay Bach! The "OR Quotes" Twitter Feed:

Orthopedic surgeon, responding to a question about why he would choose suture or staples to close a wound: "Staples if they're already ugly."

The was a line in MASH asking whether the patient was an officer or enlisted.

"He's enlisted".

"Make the stitches bigger."

[George K]

Vascular surgeon to scrub tech: "I'm not smarter than you, I've just made more mistakes than you."

[George K]

(probably only @bachophile will get this)

Vascular tech, on being a vascular patient: "It's like being in the mafia. Once you're in, you can never get out."

[George K]

Bad omen for your Friday.

General surgeon, at the start of the case: "Good thing I have a long playlist."

[bachophile]

@George-K haha

I usually put on Spotify or apple set lists but I do check they have enough songs per case

60s 70s mix….residents think I’m ancient.

[George K]

@bachophile said in Hay Bach! The "OR Quotes" Twitter Feed:

@George-K haha

I usually put on Spotify or apple set lists but I do check they have enough songs per case

60s 70s mix….residents think I’m ancient.

When I first went into private practice, each of us had our own "cart" which we were responsible for stocking with medications, supplies, etc. Most of us had a tape player or radio on the cart for music in the OR. Of the 5 drawers in the cart, two of mine were filled with cassette tapes, and later CDs.

Since the cart was the anesthesiologist's "territory," it became pretty much tradition that the gas passer chose the music. I tried to accommodate pretty much everyone's taste (no rap, however).

Once we lost the individual carts, a cd player and/or powered speakers into which you could plug a phone/ipod became the norm. It was only as I was retiring that surgeons discovered they could bring their own music.

[George K]

RN: "Your mask is bloody. Do you want a new one?"

Surgeon: "No, I want to look like a warrior."

[George K]

Protip: The appropriate greeting when showing up an hour late for your first case of the day is "I'm so sorry to be late," not, "I don't want to be help up by slow turnovers today."

[George K]

Anesthesiologist: "You're not late unless you're the last one to show up."

[George K]

Orthopedic surgeon: "Can I get two sitting stools? One for each cheek."

[George K]

Scrub tech to surgeon during toe amputation: "What are you going to do with the toe?"

Anesthesiologist: "Why? Do you want it?"

Scrub tech: "No. I'd need at least two."

[George K]

Surgeon: "Don't take anything I say personally."

Scrub tech: "I never do. I couldn't be a scrub tech if I did."

[George K]

Surgeon: "You're only as good as your plan B."

[George K]

Orthopedic Surgeon: "I totally should have peed before this case. Just thought everyone should know."

[George K]

Surgeons' comments:

"I need a squirt."

"Clean the tip."

"I didn't recognize you with your clothes on."

"Can you tie me up?"

"I'm wet."

"Suck here."

[George K]

Putting only 6 screws in an 8 hole plate.

Nurse: why didn’t we use 8 screws?

Me: Sometimes we don’t fill all the holes.

Nurse: ………….

[George K]

General surgeon to RN: "I don't know that you should take it as a compliment that we get along. It may be a sign of pathology."

Plastic surgeon: "Anything that can be done, can be done wrong. Another law of surgery right there."

[George K]

One of the real PITA behaviors of some surgeons is having the circulator answer his phone while they are operating.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=

ding

Ortho Surgeon: “Can you check that text for me?”
Circulator: (looks at the phone for a second) “It’s Sinnamon, with an ‘S’, she says you left your wallet at her place last night, and thanks for the extra $100.”

(Ortho Surgeon looked totally bewildered).

I work with some funny people. Maybe that’s how you get the surgeon to stop asking you to answer their phone!

[George K]

Surgeon's headlight keeps going out...

Anesthesiologist: "Should I direct some of my brilliance at the surgical site?"

[George K]

Regarding a patient with a gangrenous digit...

Anesthesiologist 1: "He just needs a chihuahua to chew it off."

Anesthesiologist 2: "He's seeing Dr X, so that's basically the same thing."