The Most Redneck Thing You’ll See Today
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"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08
The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.
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Here's a joke you'll enjoy, having lived in Tanasi...
(That's Tennessee for you white folk...)
A Tennesseean and a Texan are standing at the bar drinking. The texan looks at the Tennessean and says "where ya from, boy?" The Tennessean says "I'm from Tennessee." The Texan says "figures... well I'm from Texas. And in Texas, when we see a woman we want we just walk up and stick it in!" The Tennessee boy sniffs and says "Yeah, coming from Texas I'm sure you do. But I'm from Tennessee. We stick it in and THEN walk up...."
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Hahahaha...
Northern and Southern woman waiting at the doctor's office. The Southern girl, just tryin' to be nice, says, "Where y'all from?"
The Northern gal looks over the top of her magazine. "From somewhere we know better than to end a sentence with a preposition." and goes back to her magazine.
The southern gal looks down, bites her lower lip for a second, and then brightens. With a big smile, she says, "Where y'all from, bitch?!" -
So these counterfeiters make a mistake and print a load of $15 bills.
The head man says "No problem. We'll take these bills down to Tennessee. Those hicks won't know the difference. We'll swap out the bad bills for real money."So they head down to Tennessee and stop at a small general store. The head guy steps in and asks for change for a $15 dollar bill.
The clerk says, "No problem. What do you want? Five three's, or two seven's and a one?"
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This Yankee was walking down an old gravel road in Tennessee when he came to a cabin. There was an old man sitting on the front porch with a brown jug sitting on the floor in front of him. The old man says "Hey boy! Git over here!" The Yankee walks over, the old man points to the jug and says "You know what's in this jug?" The Yankee says "no sir, I dont." The old man says "it's moonshine. Take a drink of it!"
The Yankee tells him no, and the old man pulls out a pistol and says "You take a drink of this moonshine or I'll shoot your balls off..." that scared the Yankee, so he took a drink. It was the worst thing he'd ever tasted. It felt like it had burned his insides so badly he'd die.
The old man says "good stuff, ain't it? Then he handed the pistol to the Yankee and said "Now - point that gun at me so I can take a drink..."
