Not All Seniors Are Senile...
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A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $15,000 ring.
The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special. Price is immaterial.
At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $140,000 the jeweler said. “It’s the famous Azure Blue which belonged to a Maharajah.”
The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement. Seeing this, the old man said, 'We'll take it.'
The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated, 'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'
On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said 'Sir...There's no money in that account!’
''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.”
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Lol
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man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.
The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly toward him.Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."
Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was.
The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."
The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand.
He looked into her eyes and slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house."
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A man noticed a gorgeous woman staring at him from across the room. Suddenly she started walking toward him, never taking her eyes off of him. She walked up, looked at him her big blue eyes and in the sexiest voice he'd ever heard said "hello. My name is Carmen. I chose that name because it encompasses the two things I love the most and can't do without - cars, and men. And what is your name?"
The man says "Pussy. Pussy Beertits.".....
