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[LuFins Dad]

Remember when “Baby It’s Cold Outside was deemed too offensive?

Wap by Cardi B

||* I said, certified freak
Seven days a week
Wet ass pussy
Make that pull-out game weak, woo
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy
Beat it up, nigga, catch a charge
Extra large and extra hard
Put this pussy right in your face
Swipe your nose like a credit card
Hop on top, I wanna ride
I do a kegel while it's inside
Spit in my mouth, look in my eyes
This pussy is wet, come take a dive
Tie me up like I'm surprised
Let's role play, I wear a disguise
I want you to park that big Mack truck
Right in this little garage
Make it cream, make me scream
Out in public, make a scene
I don't cook, I don't clean
But let me tell you how I got this ring (ayy, ayy)
Gobble me, swallow me, drip down inside of me
Quick jump out 'fore you let it get inside of me
I tell him where to put it, never tell him where I'm 'bout to be
I run down on him 'fore I have a nigga running me
Talk your shit, bite your lip
Ask for a car while you ride that dick (while you ride that dick)
You really ain't never gotta fuck him for a thang
He already made his mind up 'fore he came
Now get your boots and your coat
For this wet ass pussy
He bought a phone just for pictures
Of this wet ass pussy
Pay my tuition just to kiss me
On this wet ass pussy
Now make it rain if you wanna
See some wet ass pussy
Look, I need a hard hitter, I need a deep stroker
I need a Henny drinker, I need a weed smoker
Not a garden snake, I need a king cobra
With a hook in it, hope it lean over
He got some money, then that's where I'm headed
Pussy A1, just like his credit
He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it
I let him taste it, now he diabetic
I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp
I wanna gag, I wanna choke
I want you to touch that little dangly dang
That swang in the back of my throat
My head game is fire, punani Dasani
It's going in dry and it's coming out soggy
I ride on that thang like the cops is behind me
I spit on his mic and now he tryna sign me, woo
Your honor, I'm a freak bitch, handcuffs, leashes
Switch my wig, make him feel like he cheating
Put him on his knees, give him something to believe in
Never lost a fight, but I'm looking for a beating
In the food chain, I'm the one that eat ya
If he ate my ass, he's a bottom feeder
Big D stand for big demeanor
I could make you bust before I ever meet ya
If it don't hang, then he can't bang
You can't hurt my feelings, but I like pain
If he fuck me and ask, "Whose is it?"
When I ride the dick, I'ma spell my name
Ah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you fucking with some wet ass pussy
Bring a bucket and a mop for this wet ass pussy
Give me everything you got for this wet ass pussy
Now from the top, make it drop
That's some wet ass pussy
Now get a bucket and a mop
That's some wet ass pussy
I'm talking WAP, WAP, WAP
That's some wet ass pussy
Macaroni in a pot
That's some wet ass pussy, uh
(There's some whores in this house)
(There's some whores in this house)*||

[jon-nyc]

Well, it seems all consensual but I wouldn’t buy it for my 11 year old.

[mark]

Man, I remember when Frank Zappa's lyrics used to be the frontier of sleaze. They are down right Victorian by comparison. lol

||I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum

I don't mind that she called me a bum
But I knew right away she was really gonna cum
(So I got down to it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this Dinah-Moe
Comin' from
I done spent three hours
An' I ain't got a crumb
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe
From the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot, ow!
An' you ain't been to it
(No no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
(No no no no no!)
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
Cause I can't get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it
Before I get into it
Cause I never get into it
Unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it
To get myself into it

(She looked over at me with a glazed eye
And some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area
And she said . . . )

Just get me wasted
An' you're half-way there
Cause if my mind's tore up
Then my body don't care

I rubbed my chinny-chin-chin
An' said my-my-my
What sort of thing
Might this lady get high upon?

I checked out her sister
Who was holdin' the bet
An' wondered what kind of trip
The young lady was on

The forty-dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little ______ if I wasn't done yet

I told her
Just because the sun
Want a place in the sky
No reason to assume
I wouldn't give her a try

So I pulled on her hair
Got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties in there

(Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!)

She was buns-up kneelin'
BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin'
WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin'
SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down
From the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition
Her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked
An' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke
About her mental health
Till Dinah-Moe finally
Did give in
But I told her
All she really needed
Was some discipline

Kiss my aura . . . Dora
M-M-M . . . it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Y'wanna?

MMM . . . sound like you're chokin' on somethin'

Did you say you want some more?
Well, here's some more

(Oh, baby . . . )

Oh, sure . . . look
D'you think I could interest you
In a pair of zircon-encrusted tweezers?

MMM . . . tweezers!
Wait a minute, lemme sterilize 'em
Gimme your lighter

I couldn't say where she's coming' from
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm

She stroll on over, say look here, bum
I got a forty-dollar bill say you can't make me cum
(Y'jes can't do it)

I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum

I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
An' you know I heard some Dinah-Moe Humm
Some Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe Humm
Dinah-Moe
Dinah-Moe
Some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a little Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' some Dinah-Moe
An' a Dinah-Moe again
An' Dinah-Moe
An' Dora too, lil' Dinah 'n Dora
An' Dinah-Moe
Kiss my aura, Dinah||

[Axtremus]

The country parody:

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