Things I learned watching TV
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It's hard for me to read the text in picture (JPEG) form, so I asked @ChatGPT to turn it into plain text for me. It looks like it delivered.
Here’s the image you shared—looks like a list of tongue-in-cheek “common movie tropes” or “cinema clichés” presented as advice:
Plain-Text Transcription
- If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
- If being chased through town, you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade — at any time of the year.
- It’s easy for anyone to land a plane, provided there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
- Once applied, lipstick will never rub off — even while scuba diving.
- The ventilation system of any building is a perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building without difficulty.
- Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to speak the language. A German accent will do.
- A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
- When paying for a taxi, never look at your wallet as you take out a note — just grab one at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
- During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
- Cars and trucks that crash will almost always burst into flames.
- A single match will be sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
- Medieval peasants had perfect teeth.
- All single women have a cat.
- One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at one.
- It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts — your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessor.
- When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your room will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.
- Dogs always know who’s bad and will naturally bark at them.
- Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their arch-enemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks that will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
- A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
- If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
