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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Hey GK - secret doctor's language

Hey GK - secret doctor's language

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  • KlausK Offline
    KlausK Offline
    Klaus
    wrote on last edited by
    #1

    I often hear from my wife what kind of terminology the doctors here invented to talk with colleagues about patients in such a way that the patients don't really understand because it would be embarrassing to them.

    Here's a few for you to guess what they mean. Do similar terms exist in US hospitals?

    • Morbus mediterranae
    • Morbus germanicus
    • C2 Issue
    • Cerebralaplasie, a.k.a. Vacuum above C0
    • external pigmentation
    • Foetor ex ore
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    • George KG Offline
      George KG Offline
      George K
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      I liked the "Foetor ex ore" comment.

      I hadn't seen the others you mention, but one of the common ones that we used was "She has a supratentorial lesion."

      (IOW, she's nuts)

      I assume the "morbus" descriptors mean "typical whole-body German (or Mediterranean) bullshit."

      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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      • KlausK Offline
        KlausK Offline
        Klaus
        wrote on last edited by Klaus
        #3
        • Morbus mediterranae - somebody who is overly pain-sensitive and complains about it a lot
        • Morbus germanicus - somebody who never goes to the doctor until it is way too late
        • C2 Issue - drunkard (I think this is from C2H5OH)
        • Cerebralaplasie, a.k.a. Vacuum above C0 - stupid as fuck
        • external pigmentation - dirty, needs a bath
        • Foetor ex ore - bad breath
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        • George KG Offline
          George KG Offline
          George K
          wrote on last edited by George K
          #4

          As far as "C2" goes, we always referred to is as "there might be a problem with the two-carbon fragment."

          Of course "GOMER" is a common one - "Get out (of) My Emergency Room." Usually in reference to an old, slightly demented patient with multiple problems. None of them are serious, but all of them are annoying to treat.

          "Flea" is a term we used to refer to internists. Remember, a flea is the last thing to jump off of a dying dog."

          During my pediatric rotation, we referred to "FLKs." A "Funny Looking Kid" was a patient who looked unusual, but we weren't quite sure of the diagnosis. Of course, a FLK with a GLM ("Good looking mom") usually got more attention.

          So, on rounds, we could talk about ...

          "This FLK, with a GLM was admitted last night. We thought he might become a GOMER with supratentorial issues, but the FLEAS think that there might have been some two-carbon fragment problems during gestation."

          "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

          The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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          • George KG Offline
            George KG Offline
            George K
            wrote on last edited by
            #5

            Those comments would probably get me fired today.

            One of my colleagues got called out for writing (as a discharge order): "AMF, YOYO."

            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

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