The Exploding Pagers

[LuFins Dad]

https://babylonbee.com/news/rashida-tlaib-uninjured-after-her-pager-mysteriously-explodes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib's Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.

"It just blew up right out of nowhere!" one of Tlaib's staffers said following the explosion. "We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman's itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?"

Tlaib's staff was questioned on the origin of the pager but provided little clarification. "She said it was a gift from some dear friends," one staffer explained. "Honestly, we thought it was a little weird for a U.S. congresswoman to be carrying a pager in 2024, but didn't really think too much of it. Now it blew up in our office. I guess we're seeing why people stopped carrying pagers now, right? I mean, those things are obviously dangerous!"

At publishing time, police were called to Dearborn, Michigan after reports of several thousand pager explosions in the area.

[George K]

[Mik]

@LuFins-Dad said in The Exploding Pagers:

https://babylonbee.com/news/rashida-tlaib-uninjured-after-her-pager-mysteriously-explodes

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Capitol Police responded to an urgent call amid reports of a loud disturbance in the congressional offices today. Michigan Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib was later reportedly uninjured after her pager mysteriously exploded.

The incident occurred earlier Tuesday in Tlaib's Capitol Hill office, where her pager had been sitting on a desk before spontaneously detonating, causing a significant scare but leaving no reported injuries.

"It just blew up right out of nowhere!" one of Tlaib's staffers said following the explosion. "We were just going about our business, checking over the congresswoman's itinerary of Death-To-Israel protests, when there was a huge blast in the next room. We went in there, papers were flying everywhere, and there was smoke… thank goodness she had put the pager on the desk. Such a crazy, unexplained incident, right?"

Tlaib's staff was questioned on the origin of the pager but provided little clarification. "She said it was a gift from some dear friends," one staffer explained. "Honestly, we thought it was a little weird for a U.S. congresswoman to be carrying a pager in 2024, but didn't really think too much of it. Now it blew up in our office. I guess we're seeing why people stopped carrying pagers now, right? I mean, those things are obviously dangerous!"

At publishing time, police were called to Dearborn, Michigan after reports of several thousand pager explosions in the area.

Snort.

[Tom-K]

It seems it ain't over. There are exploding walkie-talkies now. One or two dead and maybe 400 wounded. Not a good couple of days for Hezbollah.

https://www.aljazeera.com/live

[George K]

[Copper]

pager
walkie talkie
iPhone

[Renauda]

[George K]

Oh...

[Mik]

Jealous we didn’t think of it sez I.

[jon-nyc]

[jon-nyc]

[Klaus]

I have no sympathy whatsoever for Hezbollah. They can all rot in hell, as far as I'm concerned.

But I'm not sure this was a good idea. Innocent children that just happened to stand close by were injured or killed. It's not clear to me that the overall effect will be positive for Israel.

[Jolly]

I look at it this way...For urban warfare -for this is what this is - the Israelis have gone to some lengths to keep the civilian casualties down as much as possible. Hezbollah has a deep stock of rockets and small arms, with the stated objective of exterminating the Jews.

Hezbollah is a clear and present danger to the existence of Israel.

[LuFins Dad]

@Klaus said in The Exploding Pagers:

I have no sympathy whatsoever for Hezbollah. They can all rot in hell, as far as I'm concerned.

But I'm not sure this was a good idea. Innocent children that just happened to stand close by were injured or killed. It's not clear to me that the overall effect will be positive for Israel.

It’s about intent. Innocents might be caught in the blast range, but it’s accidental and not intended. Hezbollah specifically targets civilians and children. That’s all the difference in the world.

[LuFins Dad]

Beyond that, I also wouldn’t believe anything those lying sacks of shit say about innocent casualties.

[Mik]

I suspect the collateral damage is minimal if any. But they surely screwed Hezbollah's operational capability.

[jon-nyc]

A couple of kids died, which is not unexpected when you detonate ~3,000 of these things. But its one of the most targeted attacks imaginable.

[LuFins Dad]

Any word on the scope of the walkie talkies?

[Horace]

It's never been obvious that Israel can violence their way out of this situation. But as violent tactics go, this was a good one.

[George K]

@LuFins-Dad said in The Exploding Pagers:

Any word on the scope of the walkie talkies?

I believe they were another nine killed with about 300 injuries