Kristi Nope
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'I'm Sorry I Have To Do This,' Says Kristi Noem Pumping Shotgun After Puppy Playfully Barks At Mailman
PIERRE, SD — After Governor Kristi Noem caught her puppy playfully barking at the mailman today, she broke out her 12-gauge shotgun and apologized for what was about to happen.
"I'm sorry it's come to this, Max," said Noem, loading two shells in the magazine. "But you did bark at the mailman, after I specifically asked you not to. Don't worry, I'll make it fast."
According to sources, Governor Noem had only last week blown away her last puppy with an AR-15 after she caught him digging in the garden. "These dogs are just so hard to train," said Noem, cleaning her rifle. "It's a shame you have to annihilate a few puppies with high-grade weaponry, but hey - that's just life on a farm!"Governor Noem reportedly led her puppy Max down to the infamous gravel pit where she prefers to perform her executions. "Stop dragging your paws, Max. Ugh, you are just the worst," said Noem as they walked into the puppy graveyard. "Four dozen puppies, and I still haven't found one that can be trained. Oh, well. Get ready for doggie heaven, Max."
At publishing time, Democrats had condemned Noem for killing puppies when they aren't even Jewish.
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@jodi said in Kristi Nope:
@Renauda thats pretty cool! I have been by Virginia city, but not in it. It’s a big tourist attraction in the summer.
My colleagues and I went there in March. We were the only ones in town. I think one book store/gift shop was open. Check out the story of the Plummer Gang that rampaged through there in 1860s
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@Jolly said in Kristi Nope:
is that your governor?
Not only is she not my governor, but she certainly won't be my Republican Vice President candidate either. LOL
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@jodi said in Kristi Nope:
She put that dog into situations that she knew it wasn’t going to be able to handle and then she killed it when it lived up to her expectations.
Does anyone here disagree with Jodi's beautifully concise summary?
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The best dog the family ever had was Watch. Cow dog without equal, Watch could flip a yearling in a heartbeat and hold it down until you called him off. You could be butchering hogs or a steer, tell Watch to stay and you could walk back to the porch to drink coffee. Nothing would bother the carcass while Watch was guarding.
One Sunday, for whatever reason, Watch bit one of the neighbors. Grandpa Jolly never said a word, he just reached up for the shotgun over the front door and killed Watch in the front yard. Grandpa didn't abide a biting dog.
Killing chickens? I've shot dogs for killing chickens. One my own, others that weren't.
I've told the story of Cicero before...He was a gun shy beagle dog. Great for the first rabbit, worthless after the first shot. My BIL shot him one cold winter day outside of Winfield, after the dog did his usual during the hunt and then wouldn't come come back to the horn.
The point of these stories is that everyday country people can and do shoot animals for various reasons. If my dog had killed a mess of the neighbor's chickens, I'd have put a bullet in his ear. Sadly, but that's the unwritten rule.
Noem's mistake was bragging about it in a book. It's not something to be particularly proud of, just something that sometimes has to be done. Noem's illustration does not show good judgement.
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@Jolly said in Kristi Nope:
Noem's mistake was bragging about it in a book. It's not something to be particularly proud of, just something that sometimes has to be done. Noem's illustration does not show good judgement.
There. You. Go.
And, she bragged about it in the context of "I can make tough decisions." I have no doubt that she's made tough decisions in her career (well, maybe...) but choosing this episode as a demonstration of that was stupid.
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It's the goat I feel sorry for. She shot it, then had to go back inside and get more ammo to shoot it again.
Which is a bit like what she just did to her career.
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@Doctor-Phibes said in Kristi Nope:
It's the goat I feel sorry for. She shot it, then had to go back inside and get more ammo to shoot it again.
Which is a bit like what she just did to her career.
She might still get gig work doing ads for ammo. She has gained some international
notoriety already in advertising for at least one dental clinic in Texas.She probably never had the core statecraft competencies expected of an elected politician or, it would seem, any job that might go beyond being a scripted talking head.
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It’s kind of like saying “I shot my unfaithful boyfriend, then shot my aunt because I was pissed”
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I guess everybody understands what’s going on here. Noem put the anecdote in a book because she thought it was impressive about her ability to make tough choices. But she is so out of her element with an actual ability to make tough choices in the moment, that even her anecdote that she chose in a moment of consideration is just awful.