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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives

Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives

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  • jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nycJ Offline
    jon-nyc
    wrote on last edited by
    #25

    I’m fucking awesome.

    Thank you for your attention to this matter.

    1 Reply Last reply
    • JollyJ Offline
      JollyJ Offline
      Jolly
      wrote on last edited by
      #26

      Well...Right words, wrong order?

      “Cry havoc and let slip the DOGE of war!”

      Those who cheered as J-6 American prisoners were locked in solitary for 18 months without trial, now suddenly fight tooth and nail for foreign terrorists’ "due process". — Buck Sexton

      1 Reply Last reply
      • MikM Offline
        MikM Offline
        Mik
        wrote on last edited by
        #27

        I didn’t talk to my parents that often when I was out of the house either. It was long distance and expensive. Plus we had a very different relationship.

        "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

        1 Reply Last reply
        • AxtremusA Offline
          AxtremusA Offline
          Axtremus
          wrote on last edited by
          #28

          IMG_0108.jpeg

          Source: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Kay-Axhausen/publication/228540313_Activity_Spaces_Biographies_Social_Networks_and_Their_Welfare_Gains_and_Externalities_Some_Hypotheses_and_Empirical_Results/links/004635199ca570f4cb000000/Activity-Spaces-Biographies-Social-Networks-and-Their-Welfare-Gains-and-Externalities-Some-Hypotheses-and-Empirical-Results.pdf

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          • MikM Offline
            MikM Offline
            Mik
            wrote on last edited by
            #29

            What point are you trying to make?

            "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

            George KG CopperC 2 Replies Last reply
            • MikM Mik

              What point are you trying to make?

              George KG Offline
              George KG Offline
              George K
              wrote on last edited by
              #30

              @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

              What point are you trying to make?

              Cheaper to call Mom & Dad?

              "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

              The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • AxtremusA Offline
                AxtremusA Offline
                Axtremus
                wrote on last edited by
                #31

                Data support for what some of you suggest: Cost of communication comes down, so people (including parents and adult children) communicate more.

                I was curious if there was a single event that caused the cost of communication to drop suddenly (e.g., deregulation or the introduction of a technology), but it seems the curve has been pretty smooth since the 1960#.

                1 Reply Last reply
                • MikM Offline
                  MikM Offline
                  Mik
                  wrote on last edited by
                  #32

                  It is now. Long distance is so 20th century. But when I was running my company out of my house I normally had $200+ monthly phone bills.

                  "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                  AxtremusA 1 Reply Last reply
                  • MikM Mik

                    It is now. Long distance is so 20th century. But when I was running my company out of my house I normally had $200+ monthly phone bills.

                    AxtremusA Offline
                    AxtremusA Offline
                    Axtremus
                    wrote on last edited by
                    #33

                    @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                    But when I was running my company out of my house I normally had $200+ monthly phone bills.

                    Add up home Internet and cellphone bills … they probably still add up to $200+ per month for a typical household of 4 today (in 2024 dollars, of course).

                    MikM 1 Reply Last reply
                    • LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins DadL Offline
                      LuFins Dad
                      wrote on last edited by
                      #34

                      I think it was mostly our Military adventures from WWII through Vietnam along with the construction of the highway system that turned us into a much more mobile society. We used to pretty much stay in the same town we grew up in. Regular contact with the family was pretty constant when you are in the same general area. As we started spreading out, contact was by necessity lessened, and by the time we got to the the 70s and 80s it was much more common to have adult children and their parents have far more separate lives. There will be cases where that’s probably best for everybody, but I believe that for the most part it’s not. Multigenerational households have essentially disappeared, and familial support systems for young families is almost nonexistent. I don’t think that is beneficial overall.

                      When I was a kid, we were visiting multiple grandparents 1-2 times a week, and phone calls happened daily. Today, my kids don’t really know their uncles and aunts on both sides. We visit my dad maybe twice a year, but we do text and call several times a week. Even that really isn’t enough, IMO. I’m very glad that we hear from Lucas in a daily basis by text, and average 2 phone calls per week.

                      Karla and I are both prepping for our retirement to be based close to wherever our kids wind up. We want to be there for them. If they end up in separate geographical locations, we’ll explore alternatives to a single family home. Maybe condos to be able to travel between.

                      But the dream is to buy a 4 season vacation house as well in a spot where everyone would like to come together for holidays or vacations and such. The goal is for that spot to also be arranged in a manner that it will stay in the family, be shared between the boys and their families and try to keep them close after we’re gone.

                      The Brad

                      MikM 1 Reply Last reply
                      • MikM Mik

                        What point are you trying to make?

                        CopperC Offline
                        CopperC Offline
                        Copper
                        wrote on last edited by
                        #35

                        @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                        What point are you trying to make?

                        The obvious conclusion is that Mr. Eisenhower wasn't as good as other presidents at managing telephone costs.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • AxtremusA Axtremus

                          @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                          But when I was running my company out of my house I normally had $200+ monthly phone bills.

                          Add up home Internet and cellphone bills … they probably still add up to $200+ per month for a typical household of 4 today (in 2024 dollars, of course).

                          MikM Offline
                          MikM Offline
                          Mik
                          wrote on last edited by
                          #36

                          @Axtremus said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                          @Mik said in Parents Highly Involved in Their Adult Children’s Lives:

                          But when I was running my company out of my house I normally had $200+ monthly phone bills.

                          Add up home Internet and cellphone bills … they probably still add up to $200+ per month for a typical household of 4 today (in 2024 dollars, of course).

                          About half that.

                          "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

                          1 Reply Last reply
                          • LuFins DadL LuFins Dad

                            I think it was mostly our Military adventures from WWII through Vietnam along with the construction of the highway system that turned us into a much more mobile society. We used to pretty much stay in the same town we grew up in. Regular contact with the family was pretty constant when you are in the same general area. As we started spreading out, contact was by necessity lessened, and by the time we got to the the 70s and 80s it was much more common to have adult children and their parents have far more separate lives. There will be cases where that’s probably best for everybody, but I believe that for the most part it’s not. Multigenerational households have essentially disappeared, and familial support systems for young families is almost nonexistent. I don’t think that is beneficial overall.

                            When I was a kid, we were visiting multiple grandparents 1-2 times a week, and phone calls happened daily. Today, my kids don’t really know their uncles and aunts on both sides. We visit my dad maybe twice a year, but we do text and call several times a week. Even that really isn’t enough, IMO. I’m very glad that we hear from Lucas in a daily basis by text, and average 2 phone calls per week.

                            Karla and I are both prepping for our retirement to be based close to wherever our kids wind up. We want to be there for them. If they end up in separate geographical locations, we’ll explore alternatives to a single family home. Maybe condos to be able to travel between.

                            But the dream is to buy a 4 season vacation house as well in a spot where everyone would like to come together for holidays or vacations and such. The goal is for that spot to also be arranged in a manner that it will stay in the family, be shared between the boys and their families and try to keep them close after we’re gone.

                            MikM Offline
                            MikM Offline
                            Mik
                            wrote on last edited by
                            #37

                            @LuFins-Dad good plan. Similar to ours.

                            "The intelligent man who is proud of his intelligence is like the condemned man who is proud of his large cell." Simone Weil

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