Who Dis?

[Copper]

1 - I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
2 - Borrow money from pessimists -- they don't expect it back.
3 - Half the people you know are below average.
4 - 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
5 - 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6 - A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
7 - A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
8 - If you want the rainbow, you got to put up with the rain.
9 - All those who believe in psycho kinesis, raise my hand.
10 - The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

***NSFW content***

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The Quotes of Steven Wright:

[George K]

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

The other day, I....wait, that wasn't me.

[Aqua Letifer]

Mitch Hedberg's predecessor.

[George K]

@Aqua-Letifer said in Who Dis?:

Mitch Hedberg's predecessor.

I'd never heard of him....

[Aqua Letifer]

@George-K said in Who Dis?:

@Aqua-Letifer said in Who Dis?:

Mitch Hedberg's predecessor.

I'd never heard of him....

Really??

[George K]

@Aqua-Letifer said in Who Dis?:

@George-K said in Who Dis?:

@Aqua-Letifer said in Who Dis?:

Mitch Hedberg's predecessor.

I'd never heard of him....

Really??

Sheltered existence, don'tcha know?

[Renauda]

@George-K said in Who Dis?:

@Aqua-Letifer said in Who Dis?:

Mitch Hedberg's predecessor.

I'd never heard of him....

That makes two of us.

[Mik]

I don't understand people who want everything. Where would you put it?

[George K]

"Four years ago...no, yesterday..."

"I have a map of the world in my office. It's full size. The legend says 'One mile = One mile.' I hardly ever open it."