The Best Lawyer
-
A friend suggested I tell this story...
My first wife filed for divorce in early 1975. At the time, I was in medical school, and she just didn't understand the fact that, as a senior medical student, I was on call, not home, etc.
This s was before the days of "no-fault" divorce.
I asked my roommate (who was in law school at the time) for a lawyer to help negotiate all this. I called this guy up and met him in his office.
Lawyer: Your wife is suing you for divorce and she wants to split the assets and she wants a cash payout of $5000 (about $28K today), right?
Me: Yeah.
Lawyer: What do you do for a living?
Me: I'm a student.
Lawyer: What are you studying.
Me: I'm in medical school.
Lawyer: Do you have any income?
Me: Nope.
Lawyer: Who's paying tuition?
Me: My parents.
Lawyer: Who's paying for the books?
Me: My parents.
Lawyer: What about rent, food, utilities.
Me: We split that.
Lawyer: Are you going to graduate?
Me: Sure.
Lawyer: Are you certain?
Me: Yeah! I've got less than a year to go.
Lawyer: Are you 100% sure that you will graduate, that nothing, no accident, no illness will occur that prevents your finishing school?
Me: Well, no but....
Lawyer: Stop talking.
Me:......
Lawyer: Has your wife contributed to your education in any way other than sharing housing expenses?
Me: No.
Lawyer: OK. Here's what's going to happen. I'm going to draw up some forms which stipulate that you do not want to contest the divorce, and you agree to the dissolution of the marriage. You will accept responsibility for the marriage's failure. When you get them, sign them and return them to me. After that, we'll be in touch.
Me: OK.
About 8 weeks pass and I get a call from the lawyer to return to the office.
Lawyer: OK, you're done. You're divorced.
Me: Just like that?
Lawyer: Well, right after you sign these additional forms, just like that.
Me: OK (pulls out pen and signs)
Lawyer: Congratulations.
Me (reaching into jacket pocket for checkbook): What do I owe you?
Lawyer: Nothing.
Me: What? How's that.
Lawyer: I spent 20 minutes in front of a judge telling him you're a pauper and you can't pay her the $5K, and you expect me to take your money?
Me: (speechless)
Lawyer: The only condition to that is that, every time you tell this story, you mention my name.
His name is Leonard Amari.
-
-
"My pronouns are FA/FO." - Mik, 2024
-
I love the “stop talking, now” bit…
Sounds like he was placing a bet on you… Having a graduating Med School student owe you a favor isn’t the worst gamble to take…
-
It’s always something.
-
@jon-nyc said in The Best Lawyer:
@Mik said in The Best Lawyer:
If I ever have legal business in Illinois (silent s) I promise to call him.
He was admitted to the Illinois bar 55 years ago.
Geez
I'mhe's old. -
@George-K Great story.
