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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. So....

So....

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved General Discussion
1.0k Posts 26 Posters 96.0k Views
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  • C Catseye3
    12 Mar 2023, 23:01

    (Warning: Dad Joke) What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

    L Offline
    L Offline
    LuFins Dad
    wrote on 13 Mar 2023, 13:36 last edited by LuFins Dad
    #819

    @Catseye3 said in So....:

    (Warning: Dad Joke) What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

    Nice. And stolen…

    The Brad

    C 1 Reply Last reply 13 Mar 2023, 13:37
    • L LuFins Dad
      13 Mar 2023, 13:36

      @Catseye3 said in So....:

      (Warning: Dad Joke) What do you call a beehive without an exit? Unbelievable.

      Nice. And stolen…

      C Offline
      C Offline
      Catseye3
      wrote on 13 Mar 2023, 13:37 last edited by
      #820

      @LuFins-Dad

      Oh yeah, absolutely.

      Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

      L 1 Reply Last reply 13 Mar 2023, 13:40
      • C Catseye3
        13 Mar 2023, 13:37

        @LuFins-Dad

        Oh yeah, absolutely.

        L Offline
        L Offline
        LuFins Dad
        wrote on 13 Mar 2023, 13:40 last edited by
        #821

        @Catseye3 said in So....:

        @LuFins-Dad

        Oh yeah, absolutely.

        I meant that I was stealing it from you!

        The Brad

        1 Reply Last reply
        • C Offline
          C Offline
          Catseye3
          wrote on 21 Mar 2023, 00:08 last edited by Catseye3
          #822

          DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

          MOM: Oh my! Who!?

          DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

          MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

          DAD: No, it was with a knife.

          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

          1 Reply Last reply
          • C Offline
            C Offline
            Catseye3
            wrote on 21 Mar 2023, 00:24 last edited by
            #823

            What noise does a 747 make when it bounces?

            Boeing, Boeing, Boeing.

            Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

            1 Reply Last reply
            • C Offline
              C Offline
              Catseye3
              wrote on 21 Mar 2023, 00:55 last edited by
              #824

              My cat has just eaten three mallards!

              He’s a duck filled fatty puss.


              Okay, that's all, I promise.

              For tonight, anyway.

              Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

              1 Reply Last reply
              • C Offline
                C Offline
                Catseye3
                wrote on 21 Mar 2023, 01:28 last edited by
                #825

                Okay, one more . . .
                ^
                ^
                I went into a shop and asked, “Can I have a bottle of shampoo, please?”

                The woman said, “Extra volume?”

                “CAN I HAVE A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO, PLEASE!”

                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                T 1 Reply Last reply 22 Mar 2023, 02:02
                • C Catseye3
                  21 Mar 2023, 01:28

                  Okay, one more . . .
                  ^
                  ^
                  I went into a shop and asked, “Can I have a bottle of shampoo, please?”

                  The woman said, “Extra volume?”

                  “CAN I HAVE A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO, PLEASE!”

                  T Offline
                  T Offline
                  taiwan_girl
                  wrote on 22 Mar 2023, 02:02 last edited by
                  #826

                  @Catseye3 said in So....:

                  Okay, one more . . .
                  ^
                  ^
                  I went into a shop and asked, “Can I have a bottle of shampoo, please?”

                  The woman said, “Extra volume?”

                  “CAN I HAVE A BOTTLE OF SHAMPOO, PLEASE!

                  Link to video

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  • jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nycJ Offline
                    jon-nyc
                    wrote on 22 Mar 2023, 23:59 last edited by
                    #827

                    Happy Ramadan to my Muslim brothers and sisters. This month, lunch is on me.

                    Only non-witches get due process.

                    • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                    George KG 1 Reply Last reply 23 Mar 2023, 00:01
                    • jon-nycJ jon-nyc
                      22 Mar 2023, 23:59

                      Happy Ramadan to my Muslim brothers and sisters. This month, lunch is on me.

                      George KG Offline
                      George KG Offline
                      George K
                      wrote on 23 Mar 2023, 00:01 last edited by
                      #828

                      @jon-nyc said in So....:

                      Happy Ramadan to my Muslim brothers and sisters. This month, lunch is on me.

                      (not so) Cheap Scotch, everywhere!

                      "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                      The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • George KG Offline
                        George KG Offline
                        George K
                        wrote on 25 Mar 2023, 00:17 last edited by
                        #829

                        That year I had excruciating diarrhea was, as they say in Latin, my anus horribilis.

                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nycJ Offline
                          jon-nyc
                          wrote on 27 Mar 2023, 22:38 last edited by
                          #830

                          A buddy of mine got his degree in Egyptology, but hasn’t been able to find any work. He’s back in school now so he can TEACH Egyptology to people who won’t be able to find jobs.

                          His entire career is a pyramid scheme.

                          Only non-witches get due process.

                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                          George KG 1 Reply Last reply 27 Mar 2023, 23:51
                          • jon-nycJ jon-nyc
                            27 Mar 2023, 22:38

                            A buddy of mine got his degree in Egyptology, but hasn’t been able to find any work. He’s back in school now so he can TEACH Egyptology to people who won’t be able to find jobs.

                            His entire career is a pyramid scheme.

                            George KG Offline
                            George KG Offline
                            George K
                            wrote on 27 Mar 2023, 23:51 last edited by
                            #831

                            @jon-nyc said in So....:

                            A buddy of mine got his degree in Egyptology, but hasn’t been able to find any work. He’s back in school now so he can TEACH Egyptology to people who won’t be able to find jobs.

                            His entire career is a pyramid scheme.

                            alt text

                            "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                            The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            • jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nycJ Offline
                              jon-nyc
                              wrote on 30 Mar 2023, 07:35 last edited by
                              #832

                              Them: How much do you normally spend on a bottle of wine?

                              Me: 30 minutes max.

                              Only non-witches get due process.

                              • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                              1 Reply Last reply
                              • C Offline
                                C Offline
                                Catseye3
                                wrote on 31 Mar 2023, 00:04 last edited by
                                #833

                                Did you hear about the chameleon who couldn't change color? He had a reptile dysfunction.

                                Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                • C Offline
                                  C Offline
                                  Catseye3
                                  wrote on 31 Mar 2023, 00:28 last edited by
                                  #834

                                  Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?

                                  My wife: It's impossible to live with him. He's too literal.

                                  Me: My truck.

                                  Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

                                  George KG 1 Reply Last reply 31 Mar 2023, 00:29
                                  • C Catseye3
                                    31 Mar 2023, 00:28

                                    Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?

                                    My wife: It's impossible to live with him. He's too literal.

                                    Me: My truck.

                                    George KG Offline
                                    George KG Offline
                                    George K
                                    wrote on 31 Mar 2023, 00:29 last edited by
                                    #835

                                    @Catseye3 said in So....:

                                    Therapist: So what brings the two of you here today?

                                    My wife: It's impossible to live with him. He's too literal.

                                    Me: My truck.

                                    Love that one.

                                    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                    1 Reply Last reply
                                    • jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nycJ Offline
                                      jon-nyc
                                      wrote on 3 Apr 2023, 23:12 last edited by
                                      #836

                                      Trains are just roller coasters that gave up on their dream and got a real job.

                                      Only non-witches get due process.

                                      • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      • George KG Offline
                                        George KG Offline
                                        George K
                                        wrote on 9 Apr 2023, 12:06 last edited by
                                        #837

                                        So...

                                        When people say, "Enjoy them while they're young...."

                                        They're talking about your hips and your knees.

                                        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                                        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        • jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nycJ Offline
                                          jon-nyc
                                          wrote on 9 Apr 2023, 14:02 last edited by
                                          #838

                                          After high school I worked at the mall for a year before going to college.

                                          It was my Gap year.

                                          Only non-witches get due process.

                                          • Cotton Mather, Salem Massachusetts, 1692
                                          1 Reply Last reply
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