Preserving options to have children later in life
-
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
@Mik agreed to everything you said. I'm 36, he's 33. I feel like "sure, you wanna hold my kid? Here ya go." I've felt that way since day one, though I was told I'd likely be overprotective. Pppssshhhh. Wrong. Even though we'd been trying a few years, we didn't even start trying until we were both financially and professionally established. It's the choice that best suits us. Everyone should be able to choose what best suits them when it comes to having children. Happy, secure parents will likely raise happy, secure children.
-
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
At your age, you wouldn't...
Swing, batter, batter! Swing!...Hard to lay off of the hanging curve ball...
-
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
As an outlier, you wouldnāt.
-
There's no freaking way I was mature enough to have kids in my 20's. I'm more than a tad borderline in my 50's.
God wants us to start having them at about 14, but looked what happened to his kid. He was no freaking end of trouble, most likely due to his absentee father.
-
Ideally, I think 28-40 is a good range to have kids, but any age is wonderful! Except 10ā¦
-
@Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Oh, horseshit.
Talk to somebody who has had children in their 40's and get back to me...
:man-raising-hand:
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Oh, horseshit.
Talk to somebody who has had children in their 40's and get back to me...
:man-raising-hand:
ā
ļø -
D1 was born when we were 32. D4 when we were 38.
G2 is going to be 4 in a bit, and I'm 72. Too old.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08
The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.
-
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
-
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
-
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
-
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Financial security etc. are overrated.
I do not necessarily disagree with what you say, though I do wonder if different peopleās view on āfinancial securityā may be influenced by the social safety nets available to them. I do not know the details for sure, just that I am under the vague impression that Germany has more comprehensive social safety nets compares to the USA, and speculating that this may influence our respective views on the importance of āfinancial security.ā
-
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
-
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
@Klaus also, in the US we unfortunately have to factor in things like medical costs. It costs quite a bit to have a child here, then there's the child's future medical costs to consider as well. Medical bankruptcy is a thing, and should be considered. I don't see how financial instability is beneficial to children. Some fun chaos, sure. Like moving to a new place or having pets run around the house, or sibling rivalries. Fun chaos.
-
Also, side bar, @Aqua-Letifer I haven't been around in years. How old is your daughter? Belated congratulations!
@LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Also, side bar, @Aqua-Letifer I haven't been around in years. How old is your daughter? Belated congratulations!
Thanks! Her 4th birthday is in about a week.
Please love yourself.
-
@Renauda I refuse to count on my mom or MIL to be free babysitters. By that, I mean that our primary childcare is daycare, with the grandparents free to have visits whenever. I didn't mean they can't be counted on. I just don't want to make them feel obligated or anything. Come over for a visit or occasional babysitting whenever they wish, no forced schedule.
-
@Aqua-Letifer said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
I relate to my daughter a shitload better than I do my co-workers, friends and neighbors combined. You are just plain wrong about this.
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Just look at cultures where families are still the central unit of everything. These people get their kids early, and it wouldnāt work any other way.
Financial security etc. are overrated. Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful. Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Just ask any gynecologist about old parents. Youāll hear the word ācomplicatedā a lot.
If I could do this all over again, Iād have started with kids 5 years earlier.
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Iām talking statistically, not about particular examples.
Fair enough, but I think your objections are often correlated to age, but not caused by it.
Financial security etc. are overrated.
I agree.
Overprotection, too much safety, too much planning and too much money are harmful, not helpful.
In my opinion, this is a function of parents living an imbalanced life. When you have little going on outside your family unitāno social clubs, no sports or hobbies, no volunteeringāthat tends to create overprotection and over-planning.
Grandparents in their 40s or 50s are an asset. Kids profit from some level of chaos and uncertainty.
Agree. Some chaos, some planning. That's our approach, anyway.
-
D1 was born when we were 32. D4 when we were 38.
G2 is going to be 4 in a bit, and I'm 72. Too old.
@George-K I do wish my parents would be able to do more things, and not struggle to get on the floor to play with him, but that's the way our lives turned out. Why do you feel 72 is too old? My mom would agree with you. Some of her friends have great grandchildren now.
-
@LW said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Also, side bar, @Aqua-Letifer I haven't been around in years. How old is your daughter? Belated congratulations!
Thanks! Her 4th birthday is in about a week.
@Aqua-Letifer awwww how fun! I'm loving being a parent, and am looking forward to that age and running around playgrounds. However, he is currently sleeping in my arms after a bottle and I love this too.
Unfortunately "advanced maternal age" is more common. Boo to that. Toooo boring.
