Preserving options to have children later in life
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@Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Talk to somebody who has had children in their 40's and get back to me...
What makes you think I haven’t? In any case, I believe we have a TNCR regular that fits this criterion. With any luck, we will get to see how this turns out over the next decade or two.
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God made women to have their first children earlier than 40. A woman's best reproductive years are in her twenties, pushing maybe into her early thirties. Women who delay their first pregnancy until their forties have a much harder time getting pregnant by normal means and since the quality of their eggs have decline, stand a much better chance of delivering a child with Down's Syndrome or other birth defects.
Now, let's say by freezing nice, healthy eggs, we have something better to work with using in vitro techniques. But since women tend to marry men the same age or older, we're probably talking about sperm from a man in his 40's or 50's. The swimmers will certainly do the trick with in vitro techniques...That's a technique not as dependent on volume or morphology. Problem is, sperm from older guys have problems just like older eggs have problems...Sperm from older guys means an increased risk of autism, ranging from 1.8 to 2.5 times as likely for guys in the forties vs. guys in their early fifties. And from one Swedish study: Relative to children born to men 20 to 24 years old, those who were born to men over 45 were 13 times more likely to be diagnosed with ADHD.
But let's get back to the female, shall we? Having a first child in your forties means women stand a higher chance of having a problem pregnancy with possible blood clots or diabetes and stand a higher chance of delivering a low birthweight or preemie baby.
As for our couple...They may be making more money, but having a child later in life usually means the woman will be paying for childcare into her late forties/early fifties and at a time when most people are striving very hard to maximize retirement resources, money will need to found for college expenses for junior. And if you have a couple of children, junior + juniorette.
Sorry folks, TINSTAAFL.
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Older women are more likely to have health issues carrying the child. They are much more likely to develop diabetes. Pregnancies end sooner and children are more often born prematurely. A lot more miscarriages as well. Karla was confined to bed rest for the last 4 months of her pregnancy... Young women are better designed to carry and deliver children.
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A child carried by an older woman is more likely to have health issues. Anywhere from fetal abnormalities to heart conditions as adults.
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The article focuses strictly on the mother and makes no mention of fathers... Older mothers typically mean older fathers... And I can tell you that play time with Finley results in me needing a break a little sooner than it did with Luke... Luke also got a few more and longer piggyback rides than Finley. There are definite advantages to having younger parents...
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All the objections you raise apply to eggs that are fertilized when they're the same age as the mother. Eggs that are frozen to be used years later may not carry with them the same complications, (or the mother's older body either) -- or they may carry entirely different ones and the study would need to be discontinued. As Ax pointed out, much more study needs to be done. But it is certainly worth that study, worth further examination without being dismissed out of hand.
Having the capacity to have children later in life would make good sense for many women.
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All the objections you raise apply to eggs that are fertilized when they're the same age as the mother. Eggs that are frozen to be used years later may not carry with them the same complications, (or the mother's older body either) -- or they may carry entirely different ones and the study would need to be discontinued. As Ax pointed out, much more study needs to be done. But it is certainly worth that study, worth further examination without being dismissed out of hand.
Having the capacity to have children later in life would make good sense for many women.
@Catseye3 said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
All the objections you raise apply to eggs that are fertilized when they're the same age as the mother. Eggs that are frozen to be used years later may not carry with them the same complications, (or the mother's older body either) -- or they may carry entirely different ones and the practice would need to be given up. As Ax pointed out, much more study needs to be done. But it is certainly worth that study, worth further examination without being dismissed out of hand.
Having the capacity to have children later in life would make good sense for many women.
The diabetes issues and the premature birth issues are entirely dependent on the mother's age at the time she is carrying the child. Younger eggs don't make a younger uterus...And the mother developing diabetes is dependent on her older metabolism dealing with having the child pull nutrients and sustenance.
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Also, let's talk grandparents...One of the biggest regrets in my life is that my sons never knew their grandmothers. Both my mother and Karla's mother passed away before Lucas was born.
If Lucas starts his family when he's 30, then I will be 60-61 years old. That's a good age for a grandpa. If Finley starts his family at 30 then I will be 80... Not so great an age to be a grampa of a little one...
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I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
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I'm going to write this without much thought to flow or how it reads.
- I think it's a good idea, but you can't have a younger uterus.
- Some people choose to wait; some try for years and don't conceive until their mid-thirties.
- Some women have lots of miscarriages, or ectopics, or...
- These losses can happen at any age, depending on so many factors.
- Sorry, not sorry to hopeful parents waiting for grandchildren: you're not owed a grandchild.
- My parents had me at 38 (I was a surprise
) and were first-time grandparents at 71ish, when my nephew was born. IF I have grandchildren, I might be about the same age, and that's fine. That's up to my child(ren) and not my call. - Interesting point about older dads, LD. (it's been a while since I've been here...are you still called that? Or LFD?) My husband and I both chuckle as we struggle to get off the floor after tummy time. We're in for a treat when this kid can run around.
- God doesn't have anything to do with it.
- So, yes, freezing eggs with new tech to have children at an older age is a great option for some people, but nothing is guaranteed either way. Pregnancy is just too complicated and crazy for us to decide this is a good idea or not for anyone but ourselves.
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I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill
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@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
The Brad
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@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
@Mik agreed to everything you said. I'm 36, he's 33. I feel like "sure, you wanna hold my kid? Here ya go." I've felt that way since day one, though I was told I'd likely be overprotective. Pppssshhhh. Wrong. Even though we'd been trying a few years, we didn't even start trying until we were both financially and professionally established. It's the choice that best suits us. Everyone should be able to choose what best suits them when it comes to having children. Happy, secure parents will likely raise happy, secure children.
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@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
At your age, you wouldn't...
Swing, batter, batter! Swing!...Hard to lay off of the hanging curve ball...
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@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Mik said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Klaus said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
I also think it's not a good idea to defer children even more than what's already happening today.
At some point the age difference between parent and kid, let alone grandparents and kid, gets too big. Old parents worry way too much, tend to be overprotective and are easily stressed out. They can't relate to the world of the child very well.
Totally disagree. I think the physical disadvantages factor in, but we had our daughter when I was almost 38 and she was 36. We were more financially secure than younger parents, professionally established and I would say we were less protective. I had no problem relating to her as a child.
I don't find that to be particularly old...
As an outlier, you wouldn’t.
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There's no freaking way I was mature enough to have kids in my 20's. I'm more than a tad borderline in my 50's.
God wants us to start having them at about 14, but looked what happened to his kid. He was no freaking end of trouble, most likely due to his absentee father.
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Ideally, I think 28-40 is a good range to have kids, but any age is wonderful! Except 10…
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@Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Oh, horseshit.
Talk to somebody who has had children in their 40's and get back to me...
:man-raising-hand:
@LuFins-Dad said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
@Jolly said in Preserving options to have children later in life:
Oh, horseshit.
Talk to somebody who has had children in their 40's and get back to me...
:man-raising-hand:
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