Elon Musk to Buy Classical Music
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Reportedly, he paid $6.42 for all remaining classical music companies and concert agencies. In Musks opinion, the music of all composers should be performed and heard, and not just those the progressive establishment approves.
Classical musicians and audiences are equally upset about the move. Jon, a concert goer from NYC, is worried that his all-Rachmaninoff recitals will be disturbed by Bach partitas or, worse, Mozart sonatas, without a trigger warning. George, a retired gas passer from Chicago (pronouns: xer/xers), can be seen having a mental breakdown video on TikTok while explaining, under tears, that "Scriabin is violence".
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Fake news.
I don't have a TikTok account.
Otherwise, it's mostly true.
Especially the Mozart stuff.
Wait...
How TF do you know what my pronouns are? Presumptive SOB.
Also, I'm not "from" Chicago. I was born in New York.
But, yeah, Scriabin is violence, and I'll forgive you for all the other inaccuracies.
