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The New Coffee Room

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  3. Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog

Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog

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  • J jon-nyc
    19 Apr 2022, 14:17

    Curious when that column is from.

    G Offline
    G Offline
    George K
    wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 14:23 last edited by
    #6

    @jon-nyc said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

    Curious when that column is from.

    https://chicagoreader.com/news-politics/playing-ketchup/

    Mike Royko, October 15, 1990: When they came in, you could see that demented minds were taking complete control and that Nodeggamra was starting. And putting ketchup on hot dogs was a real ominous symptom.

    Royko, July 17, 1991: And I promise to never again make snide remarks about sauerkraut on hot dogs. Or even ketchup, although Dirty Harry once said that only an (obscenity deleted) would use ketchup.

    Royko, July 30, 1992: This is another symptom of the general decline of standards in our society: music, literacy, civility, family values, the tasteless tomato, ketchup on hot dogs and Dan Quayle a heartbeat away.

    Royko, March 25, 1993: This probably surprises tourists, yuppies and lifelong suburbanites, who have spread the myth that Chicago pizza is the cumbersome creation of Ike Sewell. They are the same kind of people who put ketchup on a hot dog.

    Royko, July 29, 1993: A random survey of some of the city’s traditional hot dog outlets shows a depressing, if not alarming, rise in the misuse of ketchup and the abuse of the classic Chicago hot dog…. So a good parent will say something like: “Because if you eat a hot dog with ketchup, do you know what will happen? Tonight, when you go to sleep, a giant slimy lizard will crawl through the window and gobble you all up and all your toys and our doggie too. That’s what happens to children who put ketchup on hot dogs.”

    Royko, August 23, 1993: Mike Volgesburg, Chicago: Why is it wrong to put ketchup on a hot dog? Until you can give a logical explanation, how can you state something is wrong when in fact you can’t give a reason as to why it’s wrong? Comment: It is wrong because it is not right. Would you put whipped cream on a pizza? Would you put mayo on pancakes or salt on ice cream or pour milk on french fries? Remember, the Romans started putting ketchup on their hot dogs and look what happened to their empire. Within two or three generations, it was overrun by guys with names like Volgesburg wearing fur underwear.

    Royko, July 13, 1995: If we ranked national problems on a scale of 1 to 10,000, flag burning would be about a 2. It’s a bit more serious than the high cost of beluga caviar or the growing practice of putting ketchup on hot dogs.

    Royko, October 10, 1995: Then you might have asked yourself: Is this really one of this nation’s major population centers, a world-class city that has more Fortune 500 companies than any city except New York, great universities, hospitals and cultural temples? A sophisticated city that knows you put a dash of celery salt and never ketchup on a hot dog?

    Royko, November 21, 1995: Yes, Sen. Moseley-Braun, who claims to be a Chicagoan, actually told [the American Meat Institute] that a Chicago hot dog includes ketchup. And it doesn’t require chopped onions or sliced tomatoes or celery salt…. It is said that power corrupts. I didn’t know that it brings on utter madness.

    AND THE TORCH IS PASSED…

    John Kass, September 16, 1998: At some Oak Park schools, this is what was served for lunch the other day: beans, yogurt, cookies and hot dogs. Combining yogurt and dogs is beneath contempt. But even more chilling is the condiment forced on the hot dogs of babes. Ketchup. That’s correct. Ketchup. No onions or pickles. No tomatoes or celery salt. No pickles. Burning soft coal is uncouth. Strip mining suggests bad manners. But ketchup on a hot dog is a crime against humanity…. Ketchup is good for some foods, like scrambled eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches. But ketchup on a dog is the superhighway to hell. Even on a fake hot dog.

    "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

    The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

    J 1 Reply Last reply 19 Apr 2022, 14:24
    • G George K
      19 Apr 2022, 14:23

      @jon-nyc said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

      Curious when that column is from.

      https://chicagoreader.com/news-politics/playing-ketchup/

      Mike Royko, October 15, 1990: When they came in, you could see that demented minds were taking complete control and that Nodeggamra was starting. And putting ketchup on hot dogs was a real ominous symptom.

      Royko, July 17, 1991: And I promise to never again make snide remarks about sauerkraut on hot dogs. Or even ketchup, although Dirty Harry once said that only an (obscenity deleted) would use ketchup.

      Royko, July 30, 1992: This is another symptom of the general decline of standards in our society: music, literacy, civility, family values, the tasteless tomato, ketchup on hot dogs and Dan Quayle a heartbeat away.

      Royko, March 25, 1993: This probably surprises tourists, yuppies and lifelong suburbanites, who have spread the myth that Chicago pizza is the cumbersome creation of Ike Sewell. They are the same kind of people who put ketchup on a hot dog.

      Royko, July 29, 1993: A random survey of some of the city’s traditional hot dog outlets shows a depressing, if not alarming, rise in the misuse of ketchup and the abuse of the classic Chicago hot dog…. So a good parent will say something like: “Because if you eat a hot dog with ketchup, do you know what will happen? Tonight, when you go to sleep, a giant slimy lizard will crawl through the window and gobble you all up and all your toys and our doggie too. That’s what happens to children who put ketchup on hot dogs.”

      Royko, August 23, 1993: Mike Volgesburg, Chicago: Why is it wrong to put ketchup on a hot dog? Until you can give a logical explanation, how can you state something is wrong when in fact you can’t give a reason as to why it’s wrong? Comment: It is wrong because it is not right. Would you put whipped cream on a pizza? Would you put mayo on pancakes or salt on ice cream or pour milk on french fries? Remember, the Romans started putting ketchup on their hot dogs and look what happened to their empire. Within two or three generations, it was overrun by guys with names like Volgesburg wearing fur underwear.

      Royko, July 13, 1995: If we ranked national problems on a scale of 1 to 10,000, flag burning would be about a 2. It’s a bit more serious than the high cost of beluga caviar or the growing practice of putting ketchup on hot dogs.

      Royko, October 10, 1995: Then you might have asked yourself: Is this really one of this nation’s major population centers, a world-class city that has more Fortune 500 companies than any city except New York, great universities, hospitals and cultural temples? A sophisticated city that knows you put a dash of celery salt and never ketchup on a hot dog?

      Royko, November 21, 1995: Yes, Sen. Moseley-Braun, who claims to be a Chicagoan, actually told [the American Meat Institute] that a Chicago hot dog includes ketchup. And it doesn’t require chopped onions or sliced tomatoes or celery salt…. It is said that power corrupts. I didn’t know that it brings on utter madness.

      AND THE TORCH IS PASSED…

      John Kass, September 16, 1998: At some Oak Park schools, this is what was served for lunch the other day: beans, yogurt, cookies and hot dogs. Combining yogurt and dogs is beneath contempt. But even more chilling is the condiment forced on the hot dogs of babes. Ketchup. That’s correct. Ketchup. No onions or pickles. No tomatoes or celery salt. No pickles. Burning soft coal is uncouth. Strip mining suggests bad manners. But ketchup on a hot dog is a crime against humanity…. Ketchup is good for some foods, like scrambled eggs and grilled cheese sandwiches. But ketchup on a dog is the superhighway to hell. Even on a fake hot dog.

      J Online
      J Online
      jon-nyc
      wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 14:24 last edited by
      #7

      @George-K

      I moved to Chicago in May of 1990.

      I have always put ketchup on my hotdogs even though I know it’s wrong.

      "You never know what worse luck your bad luck has saved you from."
      -Cormac McCarthy

      G C 2 Replies Last reply 19 Apr 2022, 14:26
      • J jon-nyc
        19 Apr 2022, 14:24

        @George-K

        I moved to Chicago in May of 1990.

        I have always put ketchup on my hotdogs even though I know it’s wrong.

        G Offline
        G Offline
        George K
        wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 14:26 last edited by
        #8

        @jon-nyc said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

        I have always put ketchup on my hotdogs even though I know it’s wrong.

        Acknowledging your sins and failings is the first step toward recovery.

        As an aside, Mrs. George, who, as you know, has no taste (she married me, after all) puts ketchup on her hot dogs as well.

        Last week, she actually put it on a brat. I was that close to asking her to leave the house.

        "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

        The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

        C 1 Reply Last reply 19 Apr 2022, 14:45
        • G George K
          19 Apr 2022, 14:26

          @jon-nyc said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

          I have always put ketchup on my hotdogs even though I know it’s wrong.

          Acknowledging your sins and failings is the first step toward recovery.

          As an aside, Mrs. George, who, as you know, has no taste (she married me, after all) puts ketchup on her hot dogs as well.

          Last week, she actually put it on a brat. I was that close to asking her to leave the house.

          C Offline
          C Offline
          Copper
          wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 14:45 last edited by
          #9

          @George-K said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

          As an aside, Mrs. George, who, as you know, has no taste (she married me, after all) puts ketchup on her hot dogs as well.

          I usually agree with Mrs. G's excellent taste, but this is a mistake. I won't consume ketchup, never, ever.

          1 Reply Last reply
          • M Away
            M Away
            Mik
            wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 14:58 last edited by
            #10

            Shuddering.

            “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.” ~Winston S. Churchill

            1 Reply Last reply
            • H Offline
              H Offline
              Horace
              wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 15:00 last edited by
              #11

              To my wife, it's an interesting American condiment. She likes it.

              Education is extremely important.

              1 Reply Last reply
              • L Offline
                L Offline
                LuFins Dad
                wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 15:34 last edited by
                #12

                I took offense with their refusal to acknowledge the majesty of a chili cheese dog or sauerkraut on a dog. Yes, a Chicago Dog has become my preferred hot dog, but there are times when nothing will beat a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions…

                The Brad

                G 1 Reply Last reply 19 Apr 2022, 15:51
                • L LuFins Dad
                  19 Apr 2022, 15:34

                  I took offense with their refusal to acknowledge the majesty of a chili cheese dog or sauerkraut on a dog. Yes, a Chicago Dog has become my preferred hot dog, but there are times when nothing will beat a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions…

                  G Offline
                  G Offline
                  George K
                  wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 15:51 last edited by
                  #13

                  @LuFins-Dad said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

                  I took offense with their refusal to acknowledge the majesty of a chili cheese dog or sauerkraut on a dog.

                  Indeed. I had one last week, and it was a delight.

                  Yes, a Chicago Dog has become my preferred hot dog, but there are times when nothing will beat a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions…

                  Er, a Brat with dijon mustard, grilled onion and blue cheese crumbles comes close, I'll bet. I had that at Dat Dog in NOLA.

                  "Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08

                  The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.

                  L 1 Reply Last reply 19 Apr 2022, 15:56
                  • G George K
                    19 Apr 2022, 15:51

                    @LuFins-Dad said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

                    I took offense with their refusal to acknowledge the majesty of a chili cheese dog or sauerkraut on a dog.

                    Indeed. I had one last week, and it was a delight.

                    Yes, a Chicago Dog has become my preferred hot dog, but there are times when nothing will beat a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions…

                    Er, a Brat with dijon mustard, grilled onion and blue cheese crumbles comes close, I'll bet. I had that at Dat Dog in NOLA.

                    L Offline
                    L Offline
                    LuFins Dad
                    wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 15:56 last edited by
                    #14

                    @George-K said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

                    @LuFins-Dad said in Mike Royko on the Chicago Dog:

                    I took offense with their refusal to acknowledge the majesty of a chili cheese dog or sauerkraut on a dog.

                    Indeed. I had one last week, and it was a delight.

                    Yes, a Chicago Dog has become my preferred hot dog, but there are times when nothing will beat a chili cheese dog with mustard and onions…

                    Er, a Brat with dijon mustard, grilled onion and blue cheese crumbles comes close, I'll bet. I had that at Dat Dog in NOLA.

                    One thing we can agree on, ketchup has no place on any of them…

                    The Brad

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    • A Offline
                      A Offline
                      Aqua Letifer
                      wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 15:56 last edited by
                      #15

                      This might be a guy/gal thing. Pretty sure my wife puts ketchup on hot dogs.

                      Please love yourself.

                      1 Reply Last reply
                      • L Offline
                        L Offline
                        LuFins Dad
                        wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 16:09 last edited by
                        #16

                        You know, in Vienna there are these street sausage stands where they dig a hole through the center of a bun, pour mustard and “ketchup” into the hole, then shove a sausage into it. It’s delicious, but I don’t count it as this “ketchup” is nothing like we have in the US…

                        The Brad

                        1 Reply Last reply
                        • J jon-nyc
                          19 Apr 2022, 14:24

                          @George-K

                          I moved to Chicago in May of 1990.

                          I have always put ketchup on my hotdogs even though I know it’s wrong.

                          C Offline
                          C Offline
                          Catseye3
                          wrote on 19 Apr 2022, 17:22 last edited by Catseye3
                          #17

                          @jon-nyc Me, too. Three cheers to Jon, Mrs G and Me, the Unregenerates Three.

                          Success is measured by your discipline and inner peace. – Mike Ditka

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