You put what where???
-
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year?
Last year, we were learning how to live in quarantine. This year, we’ve perfected it: Boredom, curiosity, horniness, and an awful lot of time stuck at home have combined to make it a banner 12 months for shoving objects inside ourselves that cannot be removed without the aid of a trained professional. Here now, the traditional holiday recounting of the weirdest stuff hospitals found in America’s holes.
All reports are taken from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits, all descriptions are verbatim, and jesus christ what no don’t put that there that doesn’t go there.
As always, objects are sorted by orifice, working south:
-
G1 stuck a marble up her nose when she was about 3. D1 didn't know what to do, so she went to the ER.
Simple solution: Pinch off the other nostril, and blow into the mouth. Popped right out.
The "Parent's Kiss:" https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18634742/
-
G1 stuck a marble up her nose when she was about 3. D1 didn't know what to do, so she went to the ER.
Simple solution: Pinch off the other nostril, and blow into the mouth. Popped right out.
The "Parent's Kiss:" https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18634742/
-
Time for an update for 2022.
• Plastic toy fish
• Small bird toy
• Silver magnet
• “sent in by wife for possible 16oz glass bottle in rectum”
• Skin care bottle
• Hair mousse can
• Piece of a lamp
• “‘handmade toy’ made out of metal”
• Cube-shaped toy
• Crayon
• Ratchet wrench
• T-handle wrench
• “Says was in the shower and fell and the shower stopper stuck up rectum”
• Action figure head
• Action figure
• Toilet brush
• “patient complaining of rectal pain. Patient admits to inserting sex toys 6 months prior”
• Spoon
• “vibrator egg, patient not sure if passed in stool”
• Deflated balloon
• Fist-sized water balloon
• Vegetable peeler
• Crochet needle
• Fishing pole
• “patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum. Patient states he fell on top of it.”
• Comb
• Fragrance beads
• Reusable ice pack
• Glass beer bottle
• “had a few beers and then placed a long wax candle into his rectum, lost balance and fell onto a couch and lost hold of the candle”
• Pill container
• Cologne bottle
• Perfume bottle
• “says girlfriend put vibrator in rectum while he was asleep”
• Billiard ball
• “patient says he was playing with a container of athlete’s foot spray and accidentally it ended up in his rectum”
• Plastic candy holder
• Piece of broom handle
• “Put in butt plug then fell asleep, now can’t find butt plug”
• Stainless steel rod
• Ice cream cone
• Monopoly piece
• “Two poker chips because of a bet”At the link you can find other orifices that had foreign bodies inserted.
"Now look here, you Baltic gas passer... " - Mik, 6/14/08
The saying, "Lite is just one damn thing after another," is a gross understatement. The damn things overlap.
-
I believe u missed this one?
-
Time for an update for 2022.
• Plastic toy fish
• Small bird toy
• Silver magnet
• “sent in by wife for possible 16oz glass bottle in rectum”
• Skin care bottle
• Hair mousse can
• Piece of a lamp
• “‘handmade toy’ made out of metal”
• Cube-shaped toy
• Crayon
• Ratchet wrench
• T-handle wrench
• “Says was in the shower and fell and the shower stopper stuck up rectum”
• Action figure head
• Action figure
• Toilet brush
• “patient complaining of rectal pain. Patient admits to inserting sex toys 6 months prior”
• Spoon
• “vibrator egg, patient not sure if passed in stool”
• Deflated balloon
• Fist-sized water balloon
• Vegetable peeler
• Crochet needle
• Fishing pole
• “patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum. Patient states he fell on top of it.”
• Comb
• Fragrance beads
• Reusable ice pack
• Glass beer bottle
• “had a few beers and then placed a long wax candle into his rectum, lost balance and fell onto a couch and lost hold of the candle”
• Pill container
• Cologne bottle
• Perfume bottle
• “says girlfriend put vibrator in rectum while he was asleep”
• Billiard ball
• “patient says he was playing with a container of athlete’s foot spray and accidentally it ended up in his rectum”
• Plastic candy holder
• Piece of broom handle
• “Put in butt plug then fell asleep, now can’t find butt plug”
• Stainless steel rod
• Ice cream cone
• Monopoly piece
• “Two poker chips because of a bet”At the link you can find other orifices that had foreign bodies inserted.
-
Time for an update for 2022.
• Plastic toy fish
• Small bird toy
• Silver magnet
• “sent in by wife for possible 16oz glass bottle in rectum”
• Skin care bottle
• Hair mousse can
• Piece of a lamp
• “‘handmade toy’ made out of metal”
• Cube-shaped toy
• Crayon
• Ratchet wrench
• T-handle wrench
• “Says was in the shower and fell and the shower stopper stuck up rectum”
• Action figure head
• Action figure
• Toilet brush
• “patient complaining of rectal pain. Patient admits to inserting sex toys 6 months prior”
• Spoon
• “vibrator egg, patient not sure if passed in stool”
• Deflated balloon
• Fist-sized water balloon
• Vegetable peeler
• Crochet needle
• Fishing pole
• “patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum. Patient states he fell on top of it.”
• Comb
• Fragrance beads
• Reusable ice pack
• Glass beer bottle
• “had a few beers and then placed a long wax candle into his rectum, lost balance and fell onto a couch and lost hold of the candle”
• Pill container
• Cologne bottle
• Perfume bottle
• “says girlfriend put vibrator in rectum while he was asleep”
• Billiard ball
• “patient says he was playing with a container of athlete’s foot spray and accidentally it ended up in his rectum”
• Plastic candy holder
• Piece of broom handle
• “Put in butt plug then fell asleep, now can’t find butt plug”
• Stainless steel rod
• Ice cream cone
• Monopoly piece
• “Two poker chips because of a bet”At the link you can find other orifices that had foreign bodies inserted.
-
Time for an update for 2022.
• Plastic toy fish
• Small bird toy
• Silver magnet
• “sent in by wife for possible 16oz glass bottle in rectum”
• Skin care bottle
• Hair mousse can
• Piece of a lamp
• “‘handmade toy’ made out of metal”
• Cube-shaped toy
• Crayon
• Ratchet wrench
• T-handle wrench
• “Says was in the shower and fell and the shower stopper stuck up rectum”
• Action figure head
• Action figure
• Toilet brush
• “patient complaining of rectal pain. Patient admits to inserting sex toys 6 months prior”
• Spoon
• “vibrator egg, patient not sure if passed in stool”
• Deflated balloon
• Fist-sized water balloon
• Vegetable peeler
• Crochet needle
• Fishing pole
• “patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum. Patient states he fell on top of it.”
• Comb
• Fragrance beads
• Reusable ice pack
• Glass beer bottle
• “had a few beers and then placed a long wax candle into his rectum, lost balance and fell onto a couch and lost hold of the candle”
• Pill container
• Cologne bottle
• Perfume bottle
• “says girlfriend put vibrator in rectum while he was asleep”
• Billiard ball
• “patient says he was playing with a container of athlete’s foot spray and accidentally it ended up in his rectum”
• Plastic candy holder
• Piece of broom handle
• “Put in butt plug then fell asleep, now can’t find butt plug”
• Stainless steel rod
• Ice cream cone
• Monopoly piece
• “Two poker chips because of a bet”At the link you can find other orifices that had foreign bodies inserted.
@George-K said in You put what where???:
• “patient states he has a big toy stuck in rectum. Patient states he fell on top of it.”
Oh no, not again
