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The New Coffee Room

  1. TNCR
  2. General Discussion
  3. Trauma Victims Who Think It's Their Fault

Trauma Victims Who Think It's Their Fault

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  • M Offline
    M Offline
    MainerMikeBrown
    wrote on last edited by MainerMikeBrown
    #1

    In year 2000, after dealing with depression and other serious mental health issues for most of my life all by myself, I finally decided to seek help for it.

    Before I went into psychiatric treatment, I knew that their were others with mental illness who went through trauma caused by victimizers, victimizers who did something terrible to them on purpose. And some of the victims thought that what happened to them was their own fault.

    However, I didn't realize that their were so many trauma survivors who believed it was their fault. I think that's unfortunate.

    I've been through trauma myself. But I never thought it was my fault.

    Furthermore, I don't have a personal problem with trauma victims. I do have a problem with the victimizers.

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    • AxtremusA Away
      AxtremusA Away
      Axtremus
      wrote on last edited by
      #2

      It is sad that they think it’s their fault..
      If it was year 2000, chances are it was Bush’s fault.

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      • RainmanR Offline
        RainmanR Offline
        Rainman
        wrote on last edited by
        #3

        MainerMike, if you don't mind questions, how did you first know you were having mental health issues, and that how you felt was not just normal and that everyone probably felt that way?
        May be a dumb question, but I'm pretty dumb on the subject overall.

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        • brendaB Offline
          brendaB Offline
          brenda
          wrote on last edited by
          #4

          Mike, I'm so sorry you went through trauma earlier in your life. You're correct that some victims don't really understand what happened, and have a distorted perspective about their experiences. Sometimes getting into adulthood helps the victim understand, but some still can't even as adults.

          If it's something that the person grew up experiencing in the home, especially if it was the parent causing the abuse, the child thinks it's normal or deserved. It's amazingly difficult to mentally and emotionally break free from a mess like that. Some people never do. I'm glad you're one who has moved forward from it.

          What kind of relationship do you have now with the person who abused you? Has your abuser made amends in any way, or are they still abusive, or is there some other outcome?

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